Writhe: SCALP

-7-

The rest of the week at school was like a dream. With all the birthday wishes, and having made love to the love of my life, I felt exalted. Raha had given me her all at her own free will and I had given her my all. To me, nothing was more sacred than that. We had sealed our connection and I couldn't have asked for anything more. On Monday, I passed by the convenient store on my way to school. I planned to get her a present. A present of gratitude. Damn I was great; who thanks their person after making love for the first time. I deserved a prize; and she deserved the world.

During lessons, we couldn't keep our eyes off each other. If I wasn't in the love trance, I would have noticed Fiki hadn't come to school for three whole days. But I didn't, I was busy being in love, and it consumed my whole being. I only saw Raha, I dreamt of her, and I thought of only her. Everyone else's existence stopped making sense.

"How are you failing Literature, I thought that was your favorite subject." My mother told me, disappointed. In her hand, my academic report flipped, revealing my dismal grades in the mid term exams. I knew I had lost focus and I knew the reason very well, but I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself. I refused to admit it. I had promised not to let anything come between me and her and I was planning to keep that promise.

"It's just for this term. I guess I didn't read enough. And the exams have been tough lately, you know that..." I said quietly, not meeting her eyes. My mother sighed.

"I know you. This is the first time I'm hearing excuses come out of your mouth. You've never been one for excuses. You always take charge. I don't understand what's going on, but if it's bad you better tell me."

"Yes mother. Nothing's wrong. I guess it wasn't my lucky term."

"Is it that girl you've been spending a lot of time with?" she asked.

I kept quiet, knowing full well it was.

"From today I need you at home as soon as the lessons end, okay? I need you to take charge, nobody can be in charge of your life, that's your own." She scolded, putting the papers on the table and going to the kitchen.

I felt ashamed. Like she said, I never gave excuses. But I was also heartbroken. Raha and I had planned to spend every evening together through the week. Now I won't even have drinks, just heading home right after lessons. Jesus who gets home at exactly 4 o'clock after school? I was devastated but, I was never the type to complain. I never argued with my mother. I trusted her judgement and her intentions. So, I sighed and resigned to my fate. Or at least I did in that moment. By the time I was back in my room, I had decided there was no way I'd be away from my girlfriend for a whole week. Yes, we would see each other in school but that wasn't enough. I needed her near me. Regardless, I still put my mother's advice to plan. I designed a timetable for myself that would keep track of my grades. I guess love didn't take away my whole brain after all. Apart from Raha, my mother was another important figure in my life. I took pride in making sure I made her happy by being happy and getting good grades; and by telling her my problems whenever I had them. I respected her in every way. I thanked God for her presence especially in this moment of young love that could be all consuming. However, my girl was important as well. If I could still be in love and get my grades up at the same time, why not?

"How did you let your grades flop?" Raha asked me when I told her about my results. We were at the school's rooftop, waiting to go home. The classes had ended and since we weren't going to spend the evening together, we went to grab a few minutes to talk. Unlike me, her grades remained right on track. I smirked.

"How can I concentrate when all you do is give me the eye during class"

She laughed. "Me or you?"

"You", I said. "How can I think straight when..."