Living In A World On Fire (Steddie)

Nothing For Me Here

For the next several days, Eddie walked around in a daze. Steve stayed with him, trying his best to offer him some comfort. But Eddie seemed oblivious. He stared off into nothingness, didn't say anything, just roamed around. He spent hours in Wayne's bedroom, just staring at the bed, his arms folded across his chest, lost in his own head somewhere that Steve couldn't reach him. It was like Steve wasn't even there. Except at night. When Steve tried to tell Eddie good night and go home, Eddie clung to him, pleading with those big, sad eyes not to be left alone. So Steve stayed and ended up staying. At night, Eddie would curl up in Steve's arms on the air mattress and sob against his chest until he'd cry himself to sleep.

The one time that Eddie spoke during that week was when Steve asked him about Wayne's funeral. He hadn't said much, just agreed to Saturday, and asked Steve to make sure that Wayne would be buried next to Patsy. Steve assured him that the arrangements had all been made and he had nothing to worry about. Then Eddie had fallen silent again, gone back to his absent meandering around the trailer.

Steve's mother brought him clean clothes since he was staying at Eddie's for now. And she brought home cooked meals for dinner every night. It had not escaped her notice that there was no stove in the trailer. So, when she cooked dinner for her husband, she made enough for Eddie and Steve as well, then took it to them each night when she went to check on them.

On Friday, when Eddie disappeared into Wayne's room and shut the door, like he had been doing so often, Steve went to the phone and called Dustin. His mother answered and Steve had to endure a few minutes of random small talk. He didn't mind. Not really. He loved Claudia Henderson almost as much as he loved his own mother. She was so sweet, loving, and kind. And she always wanted to chat and gossip with Steve whenever he stopped by or called. But finally, she put Dustin on the phone.

"Steve, what's up?"

"I need a favor." He heard Dustin sigh heavily. "Eddie needs a favor."

"Yeah, sure," Dustin said, more interested now. "What can I do?"

"His uncle . . ." Steve sighed this time, took a deep breath and held it, then let it out slowly. "Not his uncle. His father." He heard Dustin gasp. "He died a few days ago and Eddie is in a really bad place right now."

"Shit, what can I do?"

"His funeral is tomorrow morning," Steve said. "Roane Hills Cemetery at ten. As it stands right now, the only people that will be there are Eddie and me, and my parents. Will you come?"

"Yeah, of course," Dustin answered. "Of course. I'll be there for Eddie. Do you want me to bring Mike and Lucas?"

"Yeah, yeah, good idea," Steve said. "Bring them. And, do you know Jeff? I guess he's in Eddie's band?"

"Sure. Jeff, Gareth, and Grant are in his band and in Hellfire."

"Bring them too," Steve said. "Anyone that you can think of that's friends with Eddie. Shit, Robin too. Call Robin and invite her too. Please." Steve thought for a moment. He couldn't think of anyone else that Eddie was friends with. But he did have other thoughts he wanted to bring up. "I'm sure they all know, but please remind people not to try and touch Eddie."

"Good idea," Dustin said. "People always want to hug you at funerals. And he'd hate that."

"Remind them all not to." He paused again. This next part was going to be a little harder to say. "One more thing."

"Shit, I don't like the sound of your voice."

"Don't worry," Steve said. "It's nothing bad. Just something . . . new." One more deep breath. "Eddie and me, we're together."