02:00
It hurts me
It hurts much...
I feel the enormous need to do it again, I've been clean for four weeks
But I still hear the voices saying do it, I deserve it
I look at the scissors, it's calling me, I take off my shirt and take the scissors, should I? Why am I doing this, Lizzie wouldn't want it, don't do it Belle you deserve better
No
i deserve this
One...
Of the...
Three...
A big moan comes out of my mouth, those scissors were sharp, I go on and on, for a while, small moans come out of my mouth, but I cover them with my hand, it's 02:00 AM, lizzie is asleep and I'm here, killing all my progress
One more
and another here
Nobody will know
And no one will worry
I let out another scream, I'm afraid, what am I doing to my body?
"Belle, what's wrong? I heard screams" I heard Lizzie's voice behind the door
"No-Nothing i-I'm fi-fine" I yelled from the bathroom
"I'm going to pass"
"No!" I yelled with little strength, I couldn't
Do nothingI ruined it
"Bellie are you in the bathroom?"
"Yeah"
"Can i pass?"
"No, I'm doing something, go away."
"I'll wait for you here in your bed"
"No, Elizabeth, go away, I'm fine!" I yelled at her, after breaking down in tears, I quickly put on my shirt and I hear the door open.
"What's wrong with you?"She knelt down and touched my back, I let out a small cry
"Do-don't touch me..."
"What did you do to yourself?"I ruined everything
"Leave me alone p-please"
"Come here" she got up, I tried to struggle, but she didn't let me
"Please I don't want to, I'm fine"
"No, you're not fine"I sit on the bed" Tell me what's wrong"
"I was just a-a little sad and I cried a lot"
"Why don't you want me to touch you?" She asked
"Because I'm stained and dirty," I answered
"And your whole body also hurts"she add.
"Sorry, I didn't want to do it" I cried.
"Hey, calm down, everything will be fine" she whisper sweetly" Can I see?"
"Mhhh"
"Please"
"Okay" she smiled at me.
I got out of bed and took off my shirt, exposing my entire abdomen full of blood, with new wounds and old scars, the face Lizzie made made me hate myself even more for doing this to me.
"Oh, my little heart" She knelt towards me and uncontrollable tears began to fall from his cheeks
I'm sorry,"i cried disconsolately
-It's okay baby girl, everything will be fine"She tried to calm me down
"I think I-I'm going to d-die..."
[...]
After a while, I was in Lizzie's bed hugging her, I couldn't fall asleep, I felt so guilty, she was so gentle, she cleaned all my wounds, I didn't feel comfortable to talk and I was very tired, so she said that we would talk tomorrow
I ruin everything
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Adopted By Elizabeth Olsen]
FanficBelle, a 13-year-old orphan, is tired of how monotonous life is, abuse, alcohol and 0% faith and chances of being adopted But one day he asks a woman for help to reach a book, from there his life began to change ⚠️⚠️⚠️ S3lfh4rm abus3 serius things