When 45-year-old Theodore Narrator gets fired from his job as Employee 528 at a large company, he is at a loss for words. His life is already going down the gutter, and this feels like it will be the straw to break the camel's back. But one fateful...
"...I can't even believe it. he- he just disclosed... absolutely nothing," said a very disappointed Lovebug, as he, Cura, and Drone walked to the cafe.
"Relax, Bug," remarked Theo, "I'm sure everything will make sense sooner or later."
"Yeah, well, guess what, we have someone right next to us who probably knows LOTS OF THINGS," scoffed lovebug. "In fact, she probably knows a lot of things about a certain project. And hypothetically speaking, she'd hypothetically be able to TELL US, hypothetically, about said project. HYPOTHETICALLY." If this was meant to be a subtle hint, Cura had clearly gotten the message. She tied her hair up and her gaze hardened.
"And, HYPOTHETICALLY, that someone right next to you would LOSE HER JOB if she hypothetically told an eleven-year-old about the CEO's hypothetical plans." she said, a cold, harsh chill in her voice.
"I'm not eleven! I'm twenty-two!!!"
"Who said anything about you? I thought this was all hypothetical," Cura laughed slightly evilly. The word hypothetical was starting to sound strange in Theo's head:
involving or being based on a suggested idea or theory : being or involving a hypothesis: Ex. hypothetical arguments a hypothetical situation
His head started to feel funny for a second. He wondered when he had memorized that passage of the dictionary, or really any dictionary passages at all.
"You good, Drone?", asked Lovebug, who was watching Theo rub his temples with curiosity.
"Yeah, i'm fine. Just a little headache, is all."
"ah, a cephalalgia," smirked Cura.
"What's a--," started Theo.
CEPHALALGIA, ceph·a·lal·gia, n. (ˌsefəˈlalj(ē-)ə) See HEADACHE.
"Never mind."
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After sitting down, Lovebug turned to Cura really quickly and took a sip of his coffee. Like a TV policeman, he stood up, grabbed the light hanging above them and pointed it straight at her. Cura flinched in surprise.
"Theodora Jamie Narrator...," he said, leaning over. Theo facepalmed, embarrassed at the scene Lovebug was making. "Theodora, you have information i need. And, oh, wow! I have a way to get it out of you!"
"Go on and try, buster," she said, indifferently. "Nothing's going to sway me."
"But what about THIS!?"
"That's a pencil, Lovebug."
"Uh, correction: that's YOUR pencil, Cura."
"I'm not giving up my job over a pencil, if that's what you're getting at."
"Cura. Cuuuura. We both know that you keep your pencils bleedingly sharp, right?"
Theo looked over at the pencil. Sure enough, its microscopic point glinted in the light of the hanging lamp, which was still clenched in lovebug's right hand.
"Are you...," Cura grinned. "Are you implying that you're going to stab me?"
"No! But oh wow, I do suppose that things would get bad if I caused myself to feel a bit of physical pain... I'd freak out a bit, so to speak. But that would NEVER happen, right, guys?"
Theo's eyes widened. Lovebug was willing to bug himself intentionally to get this information out of Cura? And in a crowded cafe, anything could happen. Theo had learned a lot about Lovebug's curse, specifically, the more people around when it activates, the trickier it is to subdue. He could be bugged for HOURS, even if Theo punched him in the gut ten thousand times.
To his horror, Lovebug was already almost in position to prick his finger with the pencil, looking directly at Cura. If he followed her around, ridiculously obsessed for hours on end, surely that would be a spot on her record.
"Lovebug! Stop it!" Theo yelled, pushing hard against the table as the tingling sensation returned again. His fingers dug into the table.
"Okay! Okay! I'll tell you if you just STOP IT!" she sighed, taking a deep breath. "My god, I am SO fired for this." Lovebug tossed her the pencil, which she caught and stabbed into her hair like she was stabbing a monster.
"The Project has a test subject. He's a simple man, works the 9-to-5 shift at a big company, and never wanted to do anything else. He's the epitome of average, the median of the human population, personified. and... that's all i know."
"What!?", yelled Lovebug. "That's it?"
"That and the fact that his name is Stanley."
Theo sighed, lifting his hand from the table and leaning back on his chair. He looked back at the table to see that something funny had happened.
"Are these tables made of cardboard or something?", he laughed. His hand had bent and cracked the edge of the table, shards of material at his feet.
Cura looked surprised. "Last time I checked, these tables were wood with a steel plate in the middle..."
"Daaaaamn! Someone's been working out!", remarked lovebug, impressed.
"haha, yeah. working out," said Theo, who didn't know what the hell was going on.
