When 45-year-old Theodore Narrator gets fired from his job as Employee 528 at a large company, he is at a loss for words. His life is already going down the gutter, and this feels like it will be the straw to break the camel's back. But one fateful...
"Okay, let's go over the plan again, because I'm absolutely positive that you'll forget it," Theo said to Lovebug. They were standing in front of the Burj Khalifa replica, which towered above them menacingly. "We take the elevator up to the top of the building. Once we get there, if both of the guards are there, you bug yourself, and cause a distraction, while i sneak inside. And then for getting out--"
"Don't worry, I remember it," interrupted Lovebug. "Okay, let's go!"
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The two of them pressed against the walls of the elevator as the doors opened. Lovebug peeked out, pencil in hand, but to Theo's surprise, nobody was there.
They opened the doors to the office, ready to put the plan into action, but, once again, nobody was there.
"Huh. This was easier than it should have been," said Theo suspiciously. "Although, it's probably fine." The two of them walked behind the CEO's desk, and started looking through the drawers. Theo looked at the titles of hundreds of files, somehow all crammed into one tiny drawer. There were files on employees, files on customers, files on various dimensions and universes. But no project. Although, Theo did notice something odd: His own file was toward the front. He opened it up.
Office Drone Dimension 93028
FEATURES: Graying hair. slight scar on left palm. White-collar office worker's uniform.
UNIQUE PERSONALITY TRAITS: Calm and collected. Tends to overthink about things. Knows an impressive number of shrimp facts.
WEAKNESSES: Sensitive. Manipulatable. Dreadfully weak and pathetic.
To Theo's horror, the file went on and on, with handwritten notes scrawled in the corners about pressure points, the story, and even his family.
He was so invested in the file that he nearly jumped when the door to the office slammed open.
"Hands up! If you don't stand up within the next ten seconds, consequences will be in order!", yelled a gruff voice from the other side of the desk. Theo froze. A strange warmth went from his head all the way down his limbs, into the tips of his fingers. They had been caught. This was it. He didn't know what happened when you got fired from this place, but he certainly didn't want to find out.
Lovebug turned to look at Theo and turned pale, like he had just seen a ghost. He started to tremble, like a child who had gotten caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.
"I'm so sorry, sir. So very sorry," he said shakily, a faint British accent lacing the edges of his voce. "I cannot believe that I had the audacity to suggest that." He stood up.
"Bug, what are you doing???", asked Theo, very confused. "and since when did you call me 'Sir'?" He stood up as well. Something felt very off.
Theo looked around the room, specifically at the two men who were about to capture them. He remembered both of them from the orientation video, although they were much scarier in person. They were... kind of short, though. Below his shoulder, lovebug stood at full height, in an exaggerated posture, trying to look dignified, but to no avail.
Wait.
BELOW his shoulder?
"Well, sir, we have never met before, but I always assumed I'd have to call you sir, sir," said a terrified Lovebug.
...What?
Theo looked at his hands, which were a sickly shade of pale grayish tan. His fingers were long and slender, with perfectly maintained fingernails, and he had a watch on his right wrist. These weren't his hands. In fact, he felt completely different. Taller. Younger. Fancier.
To test his theory, Theo put on his best CEO impression.
"Ah, hello, colleagues, what brings you to my office on such a fine day? I'm fairly sure that... erm... that we established what you should always knock before entering, right, Scar?"
"Sir! We are so, so sorry for bursting in," said scar apologetically. "but we had just assumed that you were at a conference in 38294 today, and we thought that people had broken into your office."
"I was at the conference, it just got a bit... uninteresting for my tastes. I ended up leaving early. Never assume, though. it only leads to problems. like THIS ONE." he put an arm on lovebug's shoulder, making him jump. "Me and Bug, here, were just looking through some files. And then we were interrupted by you imbeciles!"
"We are truly sorry." MI6 nodded his head down. "Have a nice rest of your day, sir."
"You do too," Theo said, and then realized that the CEO would never say that. "Er, I mean, Have a bad-- errrrr... JUST REMEMBER! YOU MATTER!" he laughed sheepishly as the two security guards walked out of the office.
"Oh wow, sir... that was very brave of you...," lovebug smirked coyly, his eyes a fiery shade of pink. Theo stabbed the heel of his (the CEO's?) polished leather shoe into Lovebug's foot, causing him to yelp in pain.
"Aaaaaah! I'm sorry, sir! I'm so, so, so, so, so, so--"
"Shut up, bug! It's me!"
"Of course it's you! it's the CEO! It's Mr. Narrator! IT'S THE END OF MY ENTIRE DAMN CAREER... OH NOOOOOooooooooo..."
"Bug!"
Suddenly, the strange, warm sensation returned, and he was, literally, standing eye to eye with Lovebug once more.
"WHAT THE HELL!?", yelled Lovebug in horror, his semi-british accent adding a strange flair to his words. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Oh my god! Do me, do me!"
"Well, I don't know how i did it. it just kind of... happened, I guess."
"Drone... Drone. You have NO IDEA how cool this is," lovebug smiled, absolutely freaking out. "Office worker by day, superhuman by night. The incrrrrrredible... amaziiiiing... Office Drone! Eeee!"
"Bug, I don't want to be a superhero. I have a job. And also, what good does randomly turning into your boss do?"
"Oh, drone, I guarantee you that you can do more than that. But right now, I just need time to process that my best friend is a shapeshifting maniac."
"We should... we should probably get out of here before Cura and the actual CEO get back," Theo noted, looking at the time on his watch.
He'd get to go home in two hours, and this had definitely been the craziest day of his life.
