Out of the woods

In the Clear

Clarke

I fell asleep holding his hand, my head on his chest. There were tears glistening off his skin. I guess I really had been upset by the accident. I was happy he was finally home, but I was threading through the fear of losing him. I sighed, sitting up and rubbing my eyes with my free hand. It took me a minute to adjust to the light, to look at his skin and see it wasn't as pale as it was last night. He didn't look any better, but the fever was getting lower. He wasn't sweating as much, then again he wasn't moving as much.

I stood up and walked towards the other table, soaking a rag in cool water I kept in a bucket. I sat back down beside him, pressing it against his forehead. His lip twitched involuntarily as I pressed it harder against his clammy skin. I couldn't help but smile. No matter what Bellamy's lip always twitched when he was making a big decision. I was the only one who noticed, but it always made me smile.

His lip also twitched whenever he was focused on me. Two weeks ago when I had gotten cornered by Murphy, he had been focused on me. His hands were balled up into fists beside him, his lip curling as he tried to figure out a way to help me. He seemed to be more aware of my surroundings, my clumsiness, than I was. Every single time I got myself into a bind, Bellamy was there to try and help me get out of it. He knew I was capable of saving myself, but he wouldn't stand back and watch.

I told myself to focus, I had to stop getting caught up in the little moments. I was so busy analyzing every decision we made together, every moment we spent together, that I wasn't focusing on Bellamy and his injuries. Then again this was his fault, his voice was the one in my ear, telling me to make a decision. I couldn't stop seeing the hurt in his big brown eyes when I walked away without giving him an answer.

"Bellamy Blake you're the biggest pain in my ass," I rang out the water and then did it all over again, "you had to go and get yourself tortured. You had to make this all about you."

I laughed, shaking my head as I looked at his face. I ran the rag over the cuts that were there, the dried blood flaking away. They were old, these cuts weren't bleeding, they were healing. His left eye was black and blue, his right one was still swollen. I couldn't help but wonder why he let them do this to him.

I knew Lexa was the one who inflicted the pain. I wanted to find her and take back the apology I gave her all those months ago. I wanted her to know that this was a game I wasn't willing to play. I wouldn't risk the life of my people, my Bellamy, for a sick and twisted life she wanted to lead.

I just called him my Bellamy. I winced as I pulled the rag away, his tanned face found underneath the pain. I ran my finger along his freckles, taking in a deep breath. I leaned forward and kissed his cheek, testing it out. I smiled, biting my lip as I watched him breath slowly, his eyes still closed.

I squeezed his hand, praying that he would open his eyes soon.

"Clarke," his eyes were closed, but his voice was there. I heard it, clear as day he said my name. He moved his hand, wincing as I touched his forehead once again. He sobbed, calling out my name once more before he stopped moving.

"I'm here, Bell. I'm here," I whispered, pressing the back of his hand against my forehead. I couldn't help but wish I had something more to tai away his pain. If only we had actual medicine, something that would knock him out to the fire that was burning within his body. I was doing the best I could, I could only hope he understood that.

I sighed as I checked his wound. It was still red and angry, but the herbs were doing their job. The infection hadn't spread any further, hopefully it would be gone all together soon. I had been lucky, no Bellamy had gotten lucky. It wouldn't spread to his heart. He would pull through this. I sighed with relief as the bay door opened and Raven walked in.