I was eager to go home. I counted the minutes until I'd get to be with my wife because that's how excited I was.
I remembered how it was the first time with Green – she was drunk and I felt extremely guilty the following morning because I realized that she couldn't remember that we did it; adding to that guilt was the fact that she woke up with a fever. So, the second time we made love, I made sure that we were both sober. But, she was shy and nervous and I was clumsy and self-conscious. Looking back, I felt that we were both so relieved when it was finally over.
"Tapos na ba?" she had asked clutching the blanket to her chest.
I had nodded painfully aware that I had reached my climax and my wife hadn't.
She had gathered the blanket around herself before getting off the bed to take another bath leaving me cursing for failing at something that was supposed to come naturally for couples.
And I had been so embarrassed with my performance that night that it took weeks before something intimate happened between us again.
The third time wasn't planned – it was a Saturday, there was a street party, and I remember how annoyed we were because of how noisy the crowd outside our apartment had become.
"Kailangan talaga naka-speaker sila? Gigil ako sa mga 'to!" Green had grumbled as she scanned TV channels for something to watch.
"Gusto mo bang lumabas? Kasi kahit anong higa natin dito ay hindi rin naman tayo makakatulog sa ingay nila," I had suggested.
"Ayoko nang lumabas. Naka-pajama na ako, eh."
"Okay. Kahit i-full volume mo 'yan, hindi mo pa rin maririnig 'yung pinapanuod mo."
I remember how she had turned the TV off before throwing the remote control on the floor. "Naiinis ako!"
"H'wag nang mainis ang misis ko. Halika na, yakap na lang..."
"Gusto ko nang matulog pero ang ingay nila. Lalabs, api nila ako..."
"Oo nga, bakit inaapi nila itong misis ko..." I had asked kissing the top of her head. "Subukan mong ipikit ang mga mata mo. Ang sabi kasi d'yan sa kabilang unit kanina, may umikot daw para magpapirma ng papel n'ung nakaraang linggo informing the residents that there will be a street party."
"Anong oras daw ba umikot 'yun at bakit hindi tayo napuntahan? Sabog din 'yung mga 'yun, eh. Hindi ba nila pansin na karamihan ng nakatira rito ay estudyante kaya malamang ay may klase hanggang hapon? Nakakainis!"
I had laughingly kissed her on the mouth – a kiss which she had eagerly returned.
"Red...?"
"Yes?"
"Bakit matigas 'to?" she had inquired sliding her hand to my crotch.
I wasn't ready to tell her then that she had been giving me an erection nearly 24/7.
"Pabayaan mo lang 'yan..." I had mumbled.
"Red...?"
"Hm...?"
"Do you still masturbate?"
"Wh—what?" I had laughed uneasily. "Lalabs, ikaw, ha, saan 'yan galing?" I had tried to joke ignoring the possibility that there might had been times when she was still awake while I was in the bathroom relieving myself.
"Do you?"
I had closed my eyes unsure if I should lie to her or just come clean.
"H'wag kang magsinungaling sa akin..."
