"Hindi mo ba talaga ako pagbubuksan?" I asked for the nth time. "Inaantok na ako at may klase rin ako bukas. I promise, hindi kita kukulitin at matutulog lang ako sa tabi mo."
I raised my fist to knock on the door again. "Green...baka pwedeng papasukin mo ako. Kung ayaw mong makipag-usap ay okay lang. Please, just let me in."
But my pleas fell on deaf ears.
"Okay, doon muna ako sa kabilang kuwarto matutulog. Inaantok na kasi ako. Goodnight, Lalabs."
Pabayaan mo munang magpalamig. Siguro bukas magiging okay rin 'yun, I silently told myself.
However, I woke up to an empty house the next morning and realized that my wife had left for her class without even saying goodbye.
I attended my first class then waited for her outside the classroom of her next class.
"Green," I called out as soon as I saw her.
She looked up, unsmiling. "Uy," she dispassionately said. "Sige, sunod na lang ako sa loob," she told the girls she was with.
They nodded throwing me furtive glances.
"Ang aga mong umalis kanina..." I started to say.
She nodded. "Oo."
"Ahh...hanggang 11:30 AM lang ang klase mo ngayong umaga, 'di ba? Sabay tayong mag-lunch?"
"Hindi ako pwede, eh, tatambay ako. I need the hours," she coldly replied.
"Gusto mong ibili kita ng lunch at dalhin ko sa tambayan n'yo?"
"Hindi na, baka magpapasabay na lang ako ng bili sa co-apps ko."
"Ahh..."
"Sige, pasok na ako sa loob. May kailangan pa kasi akong tapusin—"
"Lalabs..." I reached for her hand. "Lalabs, awat na, please..." I tried to smile even as my throat constricted painfully at how aloofly she was treating me. "Sorry na..."
"Okay," she replied with a shrug. "Sige pasok na ako..."
"Anong oras ka uuwi ng bahay?"
"Baka gabi na kailangan kong maghabol sa tambay hours, eh."
"Susunduin kita."
"I brought my car, hindi na kailangan," she said before she went inside her classroom.
I went back to the tambayan to pass time and to wait for my next class. A lot of things were running inside my head. I knew that I never gave Sienna any reason to hope; I knew that every time she had tried, I had let her down, at times, none too gently. But I knew how my wife felt too. I could just imagine how painful it had been for her to hear the things Sienna said.
"LC, okay lang po ba kayo?" Terrence asked.
I looked up to smile at him. "Oo. Wala ka bang klase?"
"Mamaya pang 1PM, LC."
"Ahh..."
"Hindi po ba kayo mag-la-lunch?"
"Mamaya na siguro ako kakain, hindi pa ako gutom, eh."
"Ah, gan'un po ba? Kain po muna ako, LC."
"Sige," I replied.
I knew that look on my wife's face earlier; she was holding her pain in. Gan'un kasi si Green, titiisin n'ya hanggang kaya pero naman kapag sumabog wasak lahat.
Pucha, suyuin mo, bakit ka ba nakatunganga rito? I silently asked myself before pushing to my feet.
Alam kong kailangan ko ng excuse para kausapin s'ya at alam ko rin na kung gaano man kalamig 'yung pakikitungo n'ya sa akin kanina ay malamang gan'un pa rin mamaya.
