In What I See
•••
It's been awhile
Since I felt this
This all-time low
So much self-pity
And self-loathing
I hate myself right now
And there is nothing
Anyone can do to help
It's just how I feel
I get a headache
From all this sadness
I want to ignore everyone
But then I feel so lonely
And my heart
Aches for more
I want to cry
Because that's all
I can do
And scream
Even though no one
Would hear it
I can't look
In the mirror
Because I am scared
Of what I would see
And I know
This is not living
This is me
Afraid to live
And love
And in the end
I know I will die
That's why I am
Stuck doing this
This cheerful joy
That I've been doing
I act happy
I act sweet
I don't swear
I don't bully
I am shy around
People I don't know
I am friendly
And if I'm not
I try to be anyway
But I am
A hateful person
And I am mean
I bully
No
I do not bully others
I bully myself
I hate myself
I'd punch my
Reflection if I
Wasn't so afraid
Of being hurt
Of feeling the pain
But no physical pain
That I feel will be
The same as the pain
In my heart
That weighs me down
I don't like what I see
No one would
Kiss those lips
No one would
Stare in those eyes
No one would
Be proud of me
In their arms
Or standing beside
I am so afraid
That's why I hide
I hide from pictures
I hide from hugs
I hide from smiles
I hide from who I am
I hide from eyes
I only wish
I could hide from mine
{Written in 2015}
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My Poetry
PoetryPoetry is my way of coping. I write things down when I feel, see, or need to say something. I hope you like it, and I plan to always add to this. If you want to know what I am writing about, feel free to comment or message me about it. I, RandomMe66...
