Useless Struggle!

A talk... why does it feel better?

Honestly I never signed up for this session with a psychologist. I didn't wanted anything else but to be left alone but here I was and there was no getting away from them at all. Witira looked at me and I knew this was definitelly not easy and there was no escaping it.

Me: *sigh* What do you want to know?

Witira: How about why you are trying this badly?

Me: I know this sounds weird but you guys don't know me...

Paseto: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: I woke up one day and I felt as if this body didn't belong to me. Ever after that I was doing my best to keep up an act.

Paseto: Wait... did something happen?

Me: I should have died but I am alive... I know what a person I was but I am not the one I was from the past. I don't recognize people, I don't have the same habits, my character is completly off and so on...

Witira: Oh my god... is this why you gave up?

Me: Yeah... I started to lose myself. I don't know anymore who I was.... 

Paseto: For how long now?

Me: Too long.

Witira: Did you tell anyone about this?

Me: Who would have believed me!

Paseto: Are you sure you are alright?

Me: I am not and I can't go on like this.

Paseto: HEY, hey, hey calm down...

Me: I have a family who thinks I am a drinking bastard and I myself can't even see them in their eyes because I can't remember anything about them. This... everything here... it's not real! It doesn't feel real...

Witira: But death is not the solution to this.

Me: If not then what?

Witira: There will be a lot of people who will mourn for you. If you think dying is a solution then please go on for them.

Me:. ...

Paseto: She is right. There has to be someone that will cry over your death.

Me: ... *sigh*

The more we talked the more I started to feel as if there really might be something wrong with my logic. There really might be something which I could do. Maybe there was really another way solving this problem. 

Witira: How about we help you in a different way?

Me: How?

Paseto: We can get him back to his place and also talk with people.

Witira: If not this, then we can also get you on a boat and live with us.

Me: Pfff- that will never work.

Paseto: I see that as him but we can also get you to a better place where no one knows who you are. I am sure we can do something.

The way they talked to me made me feel as if there was really still hope. It meant that there was another way and perhapse I could even do something else to finally get to know myself. 

Witira: Alright, now that we solved this, how about we get you to civilization?

Me: And where?

Paseto: Either back to your people or... just another city... what would you like more?

Me: Do you think my people will accept me?

Paseto: Why not and hey we are friends now!

Me: Since when?

Paseto: Since you saved my life. Now come on!

He urged me to stand up and after that he also kinda pulled me away from the place I was laying to the small shore and the beach where Witira jumped into the water swam a bit away and then shifted into a huge whale.

Me: Wow....

Paseto: My sister is beautiful isn't she...

Me: I never saw... a whale this close....

Paseto: Good cause if you did, you would have probably died...

Me: *sigh* might be a good option..

Paseto: We had this!

Me: Indeed....

Paseto began to lead me into the water and I followed him. I didn't quite get how he wanted to help me get to shore but I didn't also think he would shift into a whale and then let me ride on his back. That was definitelly a first.

As of my feelings...I felt a lot better talking about it. I never knew that the feeling I had was just because it was laying on my mind soo much. If I knew talking would help me out, I might have tried to talk to the cats or even the dragon. Though that was not really realistic since they all wanted something from me and expected something from me as well.