Useless Struggle!

A talk might safe me...

I played some time with the dragon before I started talking. All the other people were just quiet and not doing anything at all. They were giving me a chance and they were definitelly time. I needed that to actually get myself ready for everything.

Me: I... Where do I start...

Dragon: The start?

Ron: Wherever you want.

Me: It all started with me waking up and not being able to remember much besides that this whole life was fictional and not real. 

They were all listening to me and none of them was talking back or answering anything. They were also not talking with each other as I was talking to them. Meanwhile I was just playing with the dragon while trying to get my story straight.

Me: I knew that this body was not mine and I also felt the same. Nothing was real to me. You Ron were not real and my parents as well as everything else. I knew how this would sound but I just couldn't tell anyone about it. I decided to play by the book and pretend to be someone I am not. 

The more I was talking the better I started feeling. This might not be the best thing but I really felt a lot better about right now. 

Me: I knew what would happen and I knew what would be the right course since I was not the man who I was.... I knew Choi Han would be there and I knew where to find you as well... I couldn't just leave things to go on as they were since I know what would happen... I know as well how stupid this sounds but I can't anymore. I am tired and at the end of my energy.

I started crying while I was telling them my story. A man who was grown up and yet had a complete emotional breakdown... what should I say... I was a man of a lot of things.

Ron: I never knew you felt this was a burdon.

Me: I felt as my name alone is a burdon Ron.... At first it were just nightmares... then I couldn't fall asleep and one night became two and so on. I am close to losing my mind. 

Ron: ... I am so sorry. I should have seen the signs earlier on.

Paseton: I knew that you must have gone through a lot but that is just wow....

Witira: We might not be a lot of help here but know there is always a place that we will find for you to live if you decide to stop being Cale.

Me: Thank you two... I am sick of running away... I can't do this anymore.

Ron: You don't have too.

Dragon: Cale, I was wrong. You are not weak at all... for how long you have had to live with this burdon... I should also have helped you out sooner.

Ron: Is there anything else?

Me: I don't know who I was anymore... I felt like loosing myself... I don't know if I am the person who I was...

Ron: Does it matter?

Witira: I agree with the butler here. You are a great person who risked his life to safe my brother.

Ron: He did what?

Paseton: How about we talk about this another time.

Witira: I agree.

Ron: Very well.... Cale... you are not alone in this. 

Me: Ron one question... why are you here?

Ron: I had suspected that something might not be right with you after what happened with the attack and you saving a lot of people. I have heard some things but I doubted that you are alright to be alone without anyone.

Me: How did you know that?

Ron: You could have lost your life there and that alone changes people... this is why I came to see you. 

Me: ... thank you...

Ron: Do not worry Master Cale. I will be here for you. Let's get through this together.

Dragon: Me too!

Paseton: We will also be here for a bit.

Witira: Yes. We both might not have a lot of time to be here but we want to pay you back and help you out.

Me: Thank you all...

I was feeling soo much better after I told Ron and the dragon about it. For some reasons I thought that Ron would kill me but what he said made also sense. I nearly lost my life to protect some people because of that bombic act... It all started from there on. I started to feel a lot worse than what I did before and I started to question myself more and more... maybe Ron was right and this were some psychological impact from how I nearly lost my life but I was no mental brainfucker to know that.