Useless Struggle!

Let's try it this way...

Is it really true...

Will there be another way for me?

I am tired of pretending!

I am tired of living this fake live!

Will they really help me...

Can they even help me in another way?

Is that possible?

But how?

Is really living another live the solution to my problems?

Is it really gonna help me?

Why not try... maybe there is still hope for me...

Wow..

I never thought I would actually have these kind of feelings when I nearly drowned....

Guess I still am holding on to live....

The more I thought about what happened the more I started to realize that I was indeed still holding onto mylife. I was kinda happy when I failed in drowning myself and it was only now that I realized that. I might not know who I was but I knew that the moment they gave me another solution, I just jumped straight on it. 

It took us a while but the sister and brother duo got me to close enough to another ship. One which was searching forme and one where all the people I hoped I wouldn't be able to see were on. It was the dragon who came flying towards us and takled me straight into water. Paseton who was the one I was riding on, immeidately adjusted and got me and the dragon back on his back.

Dragon: CALE!

Me: ....

Dragon: I am soo glad to see you alive!

Me: ...

Dragon: Why did you do that?

Me: ...

Dragon: I was worried... we were searching for you day and night.

Me: ...

Dragon: Cale?

He seemed worried about me and I wish I could have said anything but I couldn't get a single word out. I knew the dragon was expecting me to talk but this was really really hard, I didn't know what to do and I felt as if there was something in my throat stopping me from talking.

I didn't know what to think or say. My brain was was just dead at this moment. Maybe there was something else to say to the dragon but there was nothing in my mind at all.

Dragon: Are you alright?

Me: ... I... I am sorry...

Dragon: There is nothing to be sorry about! It's important that you are alright.

That was everything the dragon said before resting on my shoulder. There was really soo much to talk but right now, I couldn't do that at all. I let the whales get me closer to the boat and the dragon then helped me up and that was when I saw Ron. He was standing there and in the next moment he was in front of me looking me from head to toes. 

Me: I am fine, Ron.

Ron: I highly doubt that.

Me: ... I am sorry.

Ron: There is no need to be sorry.

Paseton: I suggest you leave him some space!

Ron: A whale, I see.

Witira: Make it two and I would rather not try to attack us if you want to live.

Ron: I wouldn't have done that.... thank you for bringing back the young master.

Witira and Paseton both joined us on deck. It didn't take us long to get down to a room to talk. There was defintielly a need to talk and there was no way of doing anything else right now. They did deserve to know the reason and maybe who knows, they will also accept me. 

I am not sure how they will react...

I am scared...

Will they hate me...

Or will they accept me...

I am scared.... what should I do...

Maybe not talking would be better...

But that isn't a solution as well....

The more time was passing by, the more I was getting anxious. I didn't know what to do. Though thanks to Paseton and also Witira, I knew that everything was alright. They promised me a solution and it was definitelly better than not having one at all. 

When we got into the room, they let me to sit on the bed and the dragon was there. He decided to come over to his lap and then he instantly demanded to be pet and that quite rudly as well.

Dragon: Cale... don't let go off me!

I kinda was really playing around petting the dragon and for the first time he also let me pet his wings and the horns and basically everything. It made me focus on something else while I prepared myself mentally to start to talk to them.