Oliver x Reader || tpn fanfiction

Chapter 28 - Doubt

POV Oliver

As the nights slowly started to fade, and the sun rose with each passing day, time marched on. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, relentlessly propelling the world forward.

I find myself consumed by hatred, grappling with the fact that my world shattered on that fateful day. Yet, despite my pain, the world continued its ceaseless rotation, seemingly indifferent to my turmoil.

Every fiber of my being felt the weight of this loss: in my bones, in my heart, and in the depths of my soul. The sun's warmth no longer reached me, the night's chill failed to stir any emotion, and the once joyful melodies of birds were silenced by my grief.

Though the world remained unchanged, everything seemed different through the lens of my sorrow. I resent the world's ability to move on as if nothing has happened, while my heart is stuck in a state of perpetual mourning.

With a heavy heart, I tend to Y/N, carefully attending to them as they lie still, unable to care for themselves. The longing to gaze into their mesmerizing e/c eyes and hear their voice gnaws at my soul.

Anger and doubt wrestle within me. I fear that they may never awaken, and the thought of keeping them trapped in suffering beyond this life haunts my conscience. Should we have let them pass away peacefully? Was my desire to keep them here merely a selfish wish?

My brain knew, but my heart just wasn't ready.

My brain knows the logical answers, but my heart refuses to accept them. I must stay positive, convincing myself that they will wake up, that this nightmare will eventually end.

A soft knock on the door interrupts my swirling thoughts, momentarily snapping me back to the present.

I mustered a weary response, "Come in." The door creaked open, and Zack cautiously peered around the corner, his eyebrows furrowed with concern.

"Still not woken up?" he inquired, his gaze fixed on the figure serenely sleeping in the room. Though the answer was evident, I nodded in response, feeling the weight of frustration making my shoulders slump.

With mounting exasperation, I flung the cloth I had been using across the room, my hands trembling in despair. "It's been.. It's been so long. Why are they not waking up, Zack?" I tried to speak, but my voice faltered as tears threatened to betray my composure. I turned away, unwilling to let him witness my vulnerability.

Zack's comforting hand gently landed on my back, drawing slow circles to soothe my anguish. "You are doing everything you can," he assured me. "You're spending as much time as possible with them, caring for them with great dedication, and even learning how to handle stitches. The confrontation with Leuwis took a significant toll on them, and they need time to recover, both physically and mentally. They'll wake up when they're ready."

Attempting to regain control of my emotions, I focused on steady breathing. But I couldn't escape the frustration of feeling so vulnerable in this situation.

"They will wake up," Zack reassured, though this time, his voice lacked the conviction he tried to convey.

"But - what if they are never ready..?" I questioned Zack, my voice trembling with fear as the haunting thought consumed my mind.

Zack's hand, which had been providing comfort, froze in place, mirroring the uncertainty in his expression. He didn't have an answer.

"What if they only want to move on from this place and escape the confinement of a body that no longer listens to them? What if..." My anxious thoughts spilled out in a torrent, and I couldn't contain them.

"Oliver, listen," Zack attempted to intervene, but I was too engulfed in my doubts to notice.

"What if it was selfish of me to want to keep them here?" The guilt gnawed at me as I considered my own desires versus their well-being.

"What if they don't want to keep fighting?" I voiced my deepest fears, fearing the possibility that they might not have the will to continue the struggle.

"Oliver!" Zack raised his voice, finally breaking through my relentless stream of thoughts after several failed attempts. His urgency demanded my attention, and I turned to face him, finally pausing my tumultuous train of thought.

"Stop worrying. You trust them, don't you?" Zack's voice held a firm tone as he posed the question. In response, I nodded silently, acknowledging the deep bond I had with Y/N.

"Then trust Y/N to come back to us, to you," Zack continued, emphasizing the inseparable connection we once shared. "If they don't come back for you.. then I don't know anymore. Trust them. Stay by their side and talk to them. Make sure they know you are always right beside them. That's the only advice I can give you. I don't know what else could help them anymore," he admitted, his gaze averted, reflecting the depth of his concern.

Sighing deeply, I attempted to absorb his words, grappling with the weight of the situation.

"Can you stay here for a second?" I asked Zack, and he readily agreed, recognizing that I had something in mind.

Hurriedly, I left the room and descended the stairs, briefly exchanging a small smile with Lucas, who seemed puzzled by my sudden surge of energy. I made my way to a particular room and stopped before a large shelf, where I began searching for something significant.

I scanned over the titles until my eyes settled on the one I had been searching for, and with a sense of urgency, I rushed back to Y/N's room, passing Lucas once more, offering a smile as I continued on my mission. Zack observed my return with curiosity, trying to decipher what I had in mind. His intrigue turned to a warm smile when he noticed the book titled "Sleeping Beauty" clutched in my hands.

"I'm just going to leave you two alone," Zack grinned as he exited the room, picking up the cloth along the way.

Gathering my courage, I addressed Y/N, my voice tinged with awkwardness, "Y/N? Uhm.. I— You already heard what Zack said, so uhm.. I figured this book fits our situation in some weird way.." I chuckled nervously.

Holding "Sleeping Beauty" in my hands, I explained its significance, feeling comforted by sharing my thoughts aloud instead of keeping them to myself. "I've picked 'Sleeping Beauty,' and just like you, the main character in this story fell into a never-ending sleep because of a curse. But you already know that, don't you?" I spoke to Y/N, though in a way, I was also talking to myself, finding solace in verbalizing my emotions.

"Yeah, you're right. I should just start reading," I chuckled once more, acknowledging my own awkwardness as I flipped through the pages, my heart warming as I delved into the fairy tale world of "Once upon a time.."

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"..and they all lived happily ever after," I concluded, closing the book with a sense of satisfaction as the main characters in the fairy tale secured their happy ending, triumphing over the forces of evil.

However, a hint of doubt crept into my mind. Does the good always prevail? The question lingered as I noticed the sun setting outside, surrendering its light to the encroaching night. I sat back in the chair beside Y/N's bed, contemplating whether it was time to retire for the night.

To pass the time, I hummed a melody Y/N had once taught me, my gaze returning to their peacefully sleeping figure. They looked serene, devoid of any hurt, pain, or anger. A slight smile crossed my face, taking solace in the fact that, for the first time in years, they appeared somewhat content.

Feeling a sense of comfort, I rested my head on the chair's back, closing my eyes. The melody continued to linger in my thoughts, enveloping me in a sense of tranquillity.

"Oliver..?" A soft voice, barely above a whisper, jolted me back to awareness. I opened my eyes to find Y/N stirring, their gaze locking with mine.