Of Mutants and Men

[16]

          The memories, the voices, they all quietened down eventually and Angelika found herself enjoying the nothingness. She was neither living or dead, simply existing instead of fighting to survive like she had for a long time.

There were times when she wished she could die. Cowardice had always fit her like a glove; too afraid to try, too afraid to speak her mind but ironically, too afraid to die as well. 

She feared the fate she might encounter after death, what her mother would say about the life she had led thus far. She feared that her death might be misinterpreted – some would say she ended up dying under the duress of humans and use her as a symbol for their cause, others would use her to villainize Magneto, making him appear as a radical, rage-fuelled mutant who ended up killing his own.

Every now and then, she heard people talking to her. Elias, Hank, Charles and even Erik. They spoke to her as if she was conscious, talking about their day, what the weather was like, just casual things. However, Erik went a little further and told her his plans for the future. Their future, to be precise, should she accept.

He told her he had bought a small house in Poland. A quaint little town, he said, just like the one they used to live in when they were younger. It had a small garden where she could plant the different kind of tomatoes she liked and he promised to water them with her. At least this was what she thought she heard. 

It was unrealistic of Erik to have stuck around for her anyway.

And she hated that a little part of her wished he had. She had always hoped she meant something to him, just as much as he did to her. There were many thing she wanted to tell him, that she hated him as much as she cared for him, that despite all of his wrongdoings, she still wished him all the happiness in this world. Even when he put her in this state.

"So will you be able to turn your back on him once all of this is over?"

Caliban was right. Angelika was a complete and utter fool when it came to Erik.

–&–

Months had passed since the Trask turbulence and time had allowed every one of them to take a breather. Xavier's School for the Gifted was open once again, and teachers and students alike returned as if they had never left in the first place. The mansion bustled with life and hope, healing some of Charles' wounds and granting him a new sense of purpose.

However, their loss was non negligible. Logan had vanished into thin air, his sister still preferred to stay away from home, from him, and Angelika had not yet awoken from her coma. Physically, Hank explained, she was fine. However, her mind had built an impenetrable barrier around it and there was no way to communicate with her. Charles had hoped letting her know that they had succeeded would ease her mind and give her a reason to come back.

Erik visited her daily, always in the dead of the night to avoid Elias and his unfiltered opinions, and Charles would often catch glimpses of him leaving Angelika's room. Even without his powers, he knew his mind was drowning in remorse. The bags under his eyes seemed to grow darker and the lack of self-care became more prominent every passing day.

"Erik," Charles called out, "We need to talk."

The telepath hated to be the bearer of bad news but Angelika's state was not improving and Erik was the closest thing to a guardian to Angelika, no matter how much Elias seemed to care for her. 

Without bothering to face his friend, Erik simply replied, "I was about to leave." 

Being in such a vulnerable state, both emotionally and mentally, Erik wanted to leave as quickly as possible. He didn't want Charles to hear his thoughts. Having forfeit his helmet to Elias, he always felt bare.