Feelings

Curse to the World

All of the insults that people have said about me can all be summarized well in one sentence... you are a curse to the world.

Think about it. People call you fat, ugly, unattractive; they are saying that you are bothering them with the way you look. Do they have any right to say any of that? No. Besides, the most insecure people are always the ones who insult everyone else. If someone feels badly about themselves, truly badly about themselves, and hates the way they look, how do they make themselves feel better? While, some people try to do something about it. Other people turn to insults and judgment, judging everyone around them on the standard that they believe they can't even meet. I've been called all of those, and so much more. Girls looking in the mirror and saying stuff like "Oh my word, my acne is so bad today" and then when I say something, they turn and look at me and say something like "Well, you always have bad acne. It's different for us, we're supposed to have good skin." Think about that. Where is the logic in that? People who judge themselves and others aren't thinking about the logic in things. The girl didn't realize she had just called me ugly. She assumed that I just knew that I wasn't as pretty as her. But... was I really? If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it doesn't matter, right?

People who call you annoying? Too loud? Obnoxious? Stupid? All of those can easily fit into the statement that you aren't worth it. That you are useless to the world, and only exist as a problem to the people around you. But the truth is, no one is truly useless, and God didn't create us to be "curses" to the people around us. A lot of people struggle with being bullied and taking insults personally. I struggle with this a lot myself.

A few months ago a bunch of complaints were made about me being too talkative. There have been complaints about me from a lot of people. There have been insults about everything: height, lack of sports skill, being a nerd, talking too much, not talking enough, not being funny, falling during sports, always getting injured... The list goes on and on and on. I wish I could say that I had a huge revealing experience and now nothing bothers me. I really wish I could say that I don't struggle with anxiety anymore. I wish I could tell you there was something you could do that would change your life forever, and you would never feel any pain or anger again. But that's not how life works. Life is hard. I know you don't want to hear that. I know everyone is just hoping for life to be easy for them. They want to be the exception. The one person who isn't affected by the trials of life. But trials will come. Problems will rise. No one's life is perfect, and no person is perfect. But the way you face the problems, and the way you react to the problems? That is what will affect how your life works.

So. When you hear insults and judgment, listen to it. Think of it to yourself. Is it true? Is there something I can learn from this? And if there isn't, and you haven't done anything wrong, ignore it. Because it doesn't affect you. Rumors hurt the people who pay attention to them. The people who allow the rumors to penetrate their minds and stop them from being the person God meant them to be are the people who failed. The best thing to do is keep pushing through. Things change, and adjust. They may get worse before they get better, but they will get better. And always remember...

You are not a curse to the world.