Setting the Table {Vampire!Lady Dimitrescu x reader}

Chapter 7 | Midnight Conversations

Throughout the next few days, Natalia noticed how different people acted toward her. No one 'ignored' her per se, but tried to distance themselves within reason. More people were talking to her for only work instead of plainly ignoring and people wrote on her tables what books they'd taken out and so on.

As well as the feeling of being accepted once again went by, the feeling of disgust went through her mind. Feelings of new desires she'd never thought about began to go through more and more but her demons told her that they were wrong; she didn't want to fail her God nor want to upset him. She kept her head down whenever one of the mistresses came into the library and they all noticed.

Ever since Cassandra saw the librarian's meltdown, she felt the need to always comfort the girl and check up on her well-being. Reading the Bible Natalia kept didn't let her mind rest as she knew how it felt in a way. Feeling rejected by something you'd put your faith into felt wrong and dishearting.

Lady Dimitrescu made it a small mission of her's to make her personal handmaiden give Natalia small gifts of gratitude whenever she was too busy with her workload, usually resulting in specific books that she noticed Natalia prefered reading, getting more from the same author or just similar ones like it. Natalia appreciated them all and made a single shelf for herself and all the books she'd been gifted.

The other two daughters made their own ways into Natalia's workload via Daniela coming in once every other day to redo the braid in the maid's hair and Bela coming in once in a while to talk to her about books she'd been reading and asking for opinions.

Even with all of this physical comfort, Natalia had to face mental challenges that tragically affected her performance.  Whenever she saw two maids kissing inside the servant's halls, she wanted the same thing but bit the inside of her cheek to ignore the thoughts, making herself bleed sometimes. Other times whenever there were sounds in other rooms and she couldn't handle the difference it made.

She remembered her first time and how badly it went, it had put her off the interaction altogether and whenever she heard those familiar sounds, she would cry herself to sleep. Remembering it and remembering the consequences of those actions was enough to make anyone incredibly depressed yet she tried to keep herself sane with a smile ever since.

Breathing unsteadily, she heard the sounds of two women finishing one another and she couldn't block out their sounds. It was around midnight and no matter how long she stared at the words in ink, she couldn't stop wishing and longing to know how it would feel to be with a woman that way. How it would feel to have fun like them. How it would feel if she could just let herself try it... Just once.

But the Bible.

It had helped her get through the poverty in her life yet she hadn't the faintest clue on what to do in this situation. Praying did nothing, reading did nothing, and writing did nothing. She wanted to know how it would feel but deep down, she never wanted to let go of this. Of her faith.

It was like a father to her, something to hope for. To have a life on the other side full of hope and happiness. Then again, why would God let his children have these thoughts of not wanting a man to pleasure them..?

That was another thing to keep her up at night.

Finally, the sounds ended and she was left in silence. She should have heard nothing but her mind was screaming at her, telling her to do something rather than nothing. Sighing, she got up from her bed and decided that she would try to read something different than her Bible. Just for tonight.

There were consequences given out if you were to be caught out of bed during these hours but Natalia knew where everyone would be during these hours. She knew the daughter's whereabouts and where the Lady typically is and no one would be close enough to the library during this hour for anyone to notice she would be in there.