Kpop sickfics (requests open)

TXT soobin - mental health

This one was requested, hope you like it:)

I felt numb. I felt empty.
I don't know when I began to feel like this.
Lately I just didn't have the Motivation to do anything, all I wanted to to was lie in bed and do nothing.

"Hey soobin" I turned my head yeonjun was at the door " yeah?" "You have to get ready,we have rehearsal"I sighed "okay". He walked away, closing the door. I really didn't want to go. I wanted to stay here.

I went to brush my teeth, staring at myself in the mirror, wondering when I became like this. When did I become sad. When did I become lifeless.

It only took me ten minutes to get ready before meeting the others and making our way to the studio. We all took our seats in the van, I put my headphones in and rested my head against the window, closing my eyes. I didn't get much rest since the roads were bumpy.

After warming up, we went straight in with the routines. The choreographer was standing at the front, shouting corrections. I hated when he did this as it just puts us in a bad mood.

"Kai, straight arms"
"Taehyun make that move stronger"
"Soobin smile"
It never ends.

Eventually the music ended, the sound of heavy breathing filling the room. However, the look on the choreographer's face looked very unimpressed. "Soobin come here please".
Now I was beginning to worry, I knew what he was gonna say. " look why aren't you doing facial expressions" to be honest, I actually didn't know "I'm sorry" " you look like a dancing zombie, I need you to start doing them with the rest of rehearsal, got it?" "Yeah,I got it" "good".

I went back to the middle where the rest of the members were, trying to cover up that I was in a bad mood.
"1,2,3 start" the music played again, my body dancing to the music.
The rehearsal was torture, it took a lot of energy to try and act like I was okay. Well I'm not , not okay but i also don't feel okay. It's starting to really confuse me.
We were all lying on the floor, catching our breathes and drinking water.
"Hey soobin, what did the choreographer say to you earlier" I was kinda shocked when beomgyu asked me because honestly I didn't think they would really take notice "oh uh I can't remember".

That was stupid, why did I say that now they are gonna think something is wrong and there isn't, right?. "Are you sure, you seemed pretty agitated when coming back" did I? Was I really agitated?. "Oh I don't know" I gave a little laugh to try and shake it off, ignoring the weird looks they were giving me.

"Okay guys let's go" we all collected our stuff and made our way home, taking a shower and getting Changed.
Now that we weren't doing anything, it was just me and my thoughts. It's these moments that make me realise just how not okay I am, but the thing that is worse is that I don't know why I'm not okay. It's like my body and my mind has just given up.
The thing that bothers me the most is being a burden to my members, to my friends, my family.

"Hey soob- are you okay, why are you crying" I was crying? "Nothing, I'm fine don't worry" yeonjun walked over to me, taking a seat at the edge of the bed and pulling me into a hug. " tell me baby, what's wrong" hearing those words I could no longer keep it together, a sob broke through with more tears.

" I want to go back to normal" "what do you mean by that honey?" Hearing him be so gentle with me made me cry even more "I don't feel like myself, I want to go back to the old me" he put his hand under my chin, making me look at him "I promise you baby, I will get you back to the old you,okay?". I nodded at his words, I trust him.

"Is there anything else wrong hunny?" I didn't want to hold back anymore " I have no motivation and I just feel numb and sad at the same time" "guys, come here please" I was confused as to why he was calling for the others until they got here. "Can you run soobin a bath and can someone make some lunch for him and put his favourite movie on".

I could tell the others knew not to ask any question just yet, doing as they were told.
"Thanks"
"Anytime baby"

That night was full of cuddles.