Leave My Heart Out Of This // Shawn Mendes and Hayes Grier

Chapter 8

~Cara's POV~

Shawn and I have been hanging out all day today. Watching Netflix, eating food, talking.

I feel bad, he's been really, I don't know how to put it, sensitive?

He's just being very careful around me, being very sweet. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about it, I just don't think he understands what happened last night.

I know I need to tell him, but I don't want him to think any less of me.

I'm just scared..

It was when we were gonna penny board down to Taco Bell that he started bringing it up..

"Are you sure you're okay? We can always order pizza, or I can make something?" He had this look on his face, he was worried.

"Shawn, I'm fine. It's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal? Really Cara?" Great, now he was getting upset.

"Shawn, really. I appreciate you caring and all, but it's fine." I said trying to walk out the door, hoping he would get the hint I didn't want to talk about this.

"No Cara, get the hell in this house right now." I'd never really seen Shawn upset. So I did as he said.

"Sit." I kind of felt like a dog, but I knew that I needed to tell him sometime or another.

"Cara, what happened yesterday? Did Jack hurt you?!" He clenched his jaw, and his fists; until his knuckles were white.

I placed my hands over his fists. "Shawn, he didn't hurt me. I promise."

"Then what happened Cara? Just tell me what happened." He looked down. I knew I needed to tell him. I just wasn't sure if I was ready too.

"Shawn, let's just go get some food okay? It's fine." He looked up at me with sad eyes.

"Cara it's not fine. It's not fine being dragged upstairs by some guy saying random shit and then discovering your best friend curled up on the ground screaming and crying. It's not fine that there was nothing I could do to take your pain away.

It hurt so bad to see you there. I didn't know what to do and I was terrified of what was happening, Cara. No one should have to whiteness someone they love in that condition. It's terrible.

I didn't know what was happening and all I could do was hold you in my arms and sing to you. I tried to calm you down and at first it wasn't working and I didn't know what to do with myself.

Just the sound of you in pain makes me hurt. If you weren't on the ground and you could have seen me you could have seen my red eyes, and my runny nose. You would have seen the tears running down my face and my flushed cheeks because I didn't know what was happening to you."

By now he was crying. And I had never seen Shawn cry. Ever.

I had know this boy since I was about three years old, and I had never seen him cry.

This made me cry as well. We were both a complete mess, when I finally came to the conclusion that I was going to tell him. I needed to, and I knew he needed to hear it.

I looked him in the eyes,

"Sh-Shawn this isn't easy for me to talk about.. I've never told anyone.. and you can't either. You can't tell anybody."

"I promise."

I led him to the couch where we both sat down and faced each other, I grabbed both his hands.

"I guess you've noticed that my dads not around anymore, right? Not since I was about six or seven?"

He looked confused, "Yeah, though I don't think I've ever seen him. When we were little you always came to my house."

"Well that was for a reason, Shawn."

We had both stopped crying, though I knew I would start again shortly.

"When I was little, my dad would drink a lot. He never did anything to my mother or me, he would just sit and watch TV..

Until one night. M-My mom wasn't home that night.. She had a late shift. I think I was four, maybe five.. and he came into my room.

He was obviously drunk.. but he scared me. I was laying in bed, and he kept, t-touching me. I pretended to be asleep but it didn't work.."

I was crying now.

"He m-molested me, Shawn. I was too afraid of what he would do to me to tell my mom. This continued f-for about two y-years.

When Jack and I were u-upstairs he was touching me, but I was okay with it. B-but I guess it reminded me of when I w-was a little girl and my f-father used to do that to m-me and I got scared. So scared I had a p-panic attack.

I kept seeing h-him. Remembering what he w-would do to me. It was terrifying Sh-Shawn.."

I looked up at him. I was waiting to see a facial expression, a reaction.

Something.

Anything.

Instead he just stood up. Very quickly, might I add, and began pacing around the living room. He was rubbing his face with both his hands before leaning his back against a wall.

He stood there for a few seconds before sliding down as to wear he was now sitting on the floor, and began sobbing loudly.

I rushed over to him. I held him in my arms and we cried together, yet again.

"I-I could have s-stopped h-him. I w-was so arrogant I d-didn't even n-notice."

"Baby, Shawn. Look at me." He did as I said. His big eyes were red and puffy, it broke my heart to see him like that.

Now I knew how he felt.

"There's nothing you could have done Shawn."

He put his head down in my lap while I played with his hair. I could still hear him sniffle every once in a while.

A little while later I noticed he was asleep. I shook him a little bit,

"Shawn, let's go to the couch okay? You can sleep on the couch."

He stood up and walked to the couch. He laid down and I covered him with a blanket.

It was around ten, so I decided I would head home.

I leaned down and kissed his forehead before walking out his front door.