Death Where is Your Sting? - B. Barnes

Chapter 10

12 days. It had been 12 days since Bucky had found Ray in his bathtub.

On her sixth night there, she had asked him why he had helped her, why he had ever offered to help. She'd woken from a nightmare, shaking, having watched herself torture and kill a former Hydra scientist, and she couldn't comprehend why he would ever show her kindness after all she'd done, what she was. Monster.

"Was it because we were...friends?"

"No, we weren't really friends. I was the Soldier and you were, well..."

"A hostage?"

"Sure. Plus I didn't know the Reaper."

"So then...why offer to help?"

"Honestly, when I offered, I was about as lost as you, my memories were only starting to resurface. You and I - I'd been out long enough to know Hydra was a hell hole. You had helped me, spared me, so why not help you?"

Ray had nodded, brows furrowed in contemplation, gaze distant. She'd rested her head against his shoulder and asked him to tell her again about the 40s, something to distract from the pain.

The next day, Bucky woke relieved to find her still asleep on the floor beside the couch, he'd expected her to run in the wee hours of the night. He had held his breath, waiting for the moment she would walk out the door. But the day had passed. And she hadn't left. And now, it'd been twelve days.

Since Sam left, they had been pouring over the files together. Ray had no interest in reliving her missions, so when she would come upon those, she would pass the files to Bucky. He appreciated her trust in him to read her deepest secrets, the things that haunted her most. In return, when Bucky would find a new detail, something beyond the missions, he would leave her to discover it in peace and privacy, allowing her to reveal the details when she was ready.

They hadn't found much that Ray didn't already know, as most of the information was about her missions. Bucky was bothered at the mention of brainwashing in the files. It had been different than his, seemingly much less painful, but he was angry that she'd also lost control. Ray had been right about the injections, though the files didn't say what was in them, but the files said they'd added electric shocks. It seemed that the injections made her more susceptible to their suggestions, and the shocks served to erase her more recent memories. While the shocks had been smaller then Bucky's, Ray had received them more frequently as they weren't as effective, full wipes being impossible to accomplish without the serum.

To Ray's surprise, Hydra had found it easy to tell when she would go too long between treatments - the Reaper's kills became more merciful. Hydra wasn't looking for a quick kill, they wanted to interrogate before death. But the stubborn Raven was still in there, trying to surface. When she started to remember, the Reaper would start to execute too soon, claim she lost control, and they would wipe her into compliance.

Ray wasn't quite ready to learn more about Raven, having enough to process as more of her memories as the Reaper continued to surface. The more of the files they read, the faster and harder they came, more detailed each day. She rarely told him much but she'd give him a general idea - her trainings, punishments, missions. They shook her, and Bucky tried to help when he could.

When she'd jolt awake, once she calmed down, Bucky would make her a hot chocolate and tell her stories from his life, from Steve's, Sam's. He'd tell her about the Avengers, Wakanda, anything to distract and lift the mood. He found it endearing how enthralled she became, involved in the stories. And Bucky would indulge her, until her eyes became too heavy and she drifted off again, usually in some uncomfortable-looking position on the couch, the floor, wherever they'd found themselves. Never far from Bucky. And Bucky would stay near, wanting to protect her from the monsters inside her head, the ones he couldn't reach.