Nothing Special

COMFORT the FRIEND

After a day of processing, you stayed in your room. Yaga didn't expect anyone to be okay anytime soon with all that happened. You and Nanami would probably go back to your regular schedule soon.

You'd had a long break after Yu had passed away after all. You, at least had become a little restless. A new issue wasn't changing that.

You thought you should be a bit more sad. A bit more affected by everything. But after so much crying over Yu, you were just thankful that Suguru hadn't died.

And you still couldn't excuse his poor actions, no matter what he was going through.

You'd never believed that you were a person with strong, unwavering morals, but maybe that was the type of person that Suguru had helped you become. And just because he lost his way, didn't mean you were going to.

If anything, he made you a little mad at the moment. He was practically torturing Shoko and Satoru with his actions. Yu being taken away was a tragedy.

This was a choice.

But a knock on your door dispelled your anger.

Opening it, you were met with Satoru. His tired face, his hair hanging down, his usual sunglasses begone, instead showcasing his beautiful eyes and rare eye bags.

Without a word, you reached out to hug him.

Satoru practically collapsed in your arms, letting his head fall on your shoulders. Holding him closer you whispered apologies over and over again.

Eventually the two of you had decided to retreat to the couch, treating it as a quiet self care night.

"I'm sorry about what I did yesterday."

"It's okay. I would've done the same if I was in your position."

"But you didn't," he quickly responded, looking you in the eyes. "When Yu died you were still considerate of how I felt. And I didn't deserve that. You shouldn't have been consoling someone else when you were the one in pain. You were too kind. I wish that I didn't blow up on you like that yesterday."

"No I understand. Dying in our world... you know, I kind of expect it. And we grew up with it, right? We're used to that. But this is... something else."

Satoru scoffed. "Something else is right. He murdered a whole village! Who in their right mind does that?"

"Getou Suguru apparently," you chuckled, humourlessly. "Shoko told me about... when you met him. I'm surprised he had the guts to do that even."

"I mean, he's a special grade. Only Yuki or I could stop him. And I'm... well, you know."

Not ready to kill my best friend.

"Yeah, I know."

"I don't think I ever could be."

"Well, Yuki st- you know what. I don't even want to think about it. I don't want Suguru to..."

"But he deserves it," Satoru countered. "It's hard to come to terms with but he deserves it."

"I know that. But... I don't know."

Satoru read your mind, saying outloud what everyone wished to say.

"I should've been there for him."

"It's not your fault," you said softly.

"Nothing is, according to you," Satoru grinned, taking your hand. You were caught by surprise but held onto his hand. "I deserve some of the blame. Shoko put some sense into me. I haven't been around. For Suguru, for her, for you. I should stop trying to be even stronger than I am, and focus on the people around me. It took Suguru going crazy for me to realize but I understand that now."

"No it didn't. We should have told you earlier too. It's not your fault alone. We all realized something was wrong with Suguru, and didn't do anything. And Suguru, he should've reached out. He knew we loved him enough to help."

"Oh well, we can't give him that much sympathy; lest they think we're his accomplices."

"I wouldn't mind that at this point," you shrugged. "We could just go off doing whatever. No sorcery to worry about. Knowing that we'll live until we're old."

"That would be nice," Satoru smiled. "Maybe in another world, we're all normal."

"Well, we wouldn't know each other if we were normal," you countered.

"But if we did. And we just went to regular school. Imagine that."

"It would be nice," you agreed. But you squeezed his hand. You couldn't let yourselves get lost in a fantasy now. "Have you cried yet?"

Satoru looked up at you, clearly a little surprised.

You decided to explain yourself. "I found that crying helped with my grief. Once I stopped crying everyday, I felt more confident in getting through my day. It was rough but I really only cry when I give myself time to think about him. So I thought that could help you too."

Satoru nodded. "Thanks for that. I don't know though, maybe it's different for guys. I've been- upset. Really mad, like so mad. Who does that guy think he is? But when I couldn't kill him, I felt more grief. For us. Our friendship. And him. It feels like he's died." Satoru shook his head quickly. "No, no, that's not right, you've been through worse."

You shook your head as well. "No, you're right. This feels like last time. I completely get it if you feel that way. Plus we won't see him for a while. Unless it's for something... bad. So hopefully we won't see him for a while."

Satoru nodded in agreement, looking at the ground. After a few beats of silence he spoke.

"This is tough."

You nodded. "Very. But we can get through it. Together. And with Kento and Shoko and Yaga sensei."

"It's like the list of people we have keeps getting shorter," Satoru chuckled.

You grinned, shaking your head. "That's what we get for being sorcerers."

Satoru tilted his head to look at you again, appreciating your small smile, despite everything terrible that you'd gone through in the past month.

"I love you."

Your eyes widened as you took in that statement.

"I didn't get to say that to Suguru. I think I should open up more to the people I care about. Maybe that'll make them more comfortable to tell me what's bothering them. And then this doesn't have to happen again."

You nodded, cupping his face. "I love you too."

Satoru's eyes widened slightly at your soft declaration. He wasn't really expecting it back.

And to be honest, it was the first time in a while Satoru's eyes had welled up. As you noticed, you caressed his cheek.

"You can cry, Satoru."

And for the first time in a very long time, Satoru's emotions came pouring out in the tears that stained your shirt.