I'll Always Come Back To You

Do We Need to Leave OUR Home?

I sat huddled around the fire in our tent, pulling a blanket woven from grass tighter around my shoulders. Ralu had just left to grab some snacks since we were out and I didn't plan on leaving the safety of the tent anytime soon. I didn't know where the others were or what they went off to do.

Neteyam was next to me, leaning into my shoulder as I stared at the dancing flames.

"You okay?" He asked.

I didn't answer for a moment.

"Spider is gone," I whispered. "And it's all my fault."

"No, it's not."

Neteyam turned to face me, putting his hands on my shoulders. He looked into my eyes, searching my face.

"I know you. You would never let that happen to anyone, especially someone close to you."

"Then tell me why he's gone!" I burst out. "I yelled at him! I made him mad and probably brought him into range of the grenade! I also hurt Kiri!"

"You didn't know the grenade would be there, though. And Kiri will be fine. They were just words,"

My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. 

"But I should've done something. I could've prevented him from being hurt." I said quietly.

Neteyam pulled me into a hug.

"You couldn't have predicted the future, though."

I relaxed and wrapped my arms around him, hugging him back. The blanket slipped off my shoulders, but I didn't care enough to retrieve it.

A crunch of gravel from outside the tent sent us scrambling away from each other, me patting my hair for whatever reason, and Neteyam trying to look busy with the fire.

Lo'ak and Ralu peered into the tent, taking in our red cheeks and slightly frazzled appearances. I pulled the blanket back around my shoulders and frowned at them.

"You guys look weird, but anyway, Mom and Dad are fighting in their tent. We're going to eavesdrop on them. Kiri and Tuk are already over there." Lo'ak said.

I made an 'aha' noise.

"So that's where you guys were," I smirked at Ralu. "Spying on them when you were supposed to be getting snacks."

Ralu rolled his eyes, and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're just as bad as Tuk," he muttered while I laughed.

"Anyway, let's go, bros!" Lo'ak exclaimed, waving us out of the tent.

"Why the hell does he talk like that?" I asked Neteyam.

Neteyam shrugged, pulled on my tail, and ran as I chased him all the way to Jake and Neytiri's tent. Ralu followed behind us at a more leisurely pace.

We slowed down and started creeping as we got closer. Lo'ak was already there, as he wanted none of our playing after my teasing earlier.

"This is about our family," Jake was saying. "This is about our little ones!"

I wondered if that included Ralu and I.

"What's going on?" Neteyam whispered as I elbowed him to be quiet. 

Kiri put her finger to her lips, motioning towards the tent. Tuk was peeking underneath the canvas.

"I cannot. You cannot ask this." Neytiri said.

I saw her silhouette as she lashed her tail and moved towards one of her chests to grab something before sitting next to the fire again.

"I cannot leave my People," She declared. "I will not."

"He's hunting us," Jake said lowly.

I looked at the others, my eyes asking the question as my brow furrowed.

Who's hunting us? What did they want?

They all shook their heads, none of them knowing. Except for Tuk. She still had her face half buried in the dirt.

I gently tapped my fingers on her head. As she lifted it, her brows knit in confusion, I placed the blanket that I had brought with me down on the ground, underneath where her head would be.

Tuk gave me a grateful smile, mouthing 'thank you', before putting her head back down to watch again.

"He's targeting our family," Jake continued.

"You cannot ask this!" Neytiri's voice was getting louder with every word. "The children, everything they've ever known, the forest. This is our home!"

"He had our children," Jake's voice was barely a whisper. "He had 'em under his knife!"

Neytiri sighed, lashing her tail again before walking over to the special stand where her father's bow was kept. None of us were allowed to touch the stand or the bow. EVER.

She grabbed the bow, holding it with both hands as she held it out to her mate, almost pleadingly.

"My father gave me this bow as he lay dying," her voice cracked. "And he said protect the People. You're Toruk Makto!"

"This will protect the People!" Jake shouted. "Quaritch has Spider! And that kid knows everything! He knows the whole operation, and he can lead them right here!"

I glanced at everyone around me. This 'Quaritch' is the one who wants to hurt us? He's the one who took Spider?

I looked at each of them individually.  Tuk, the kind and sweet baby, witnessing things she shouldn't have to. Kiri, born of Dad's old friend and Ewya with no father, considered a freak by most of the clan. Lo'ak, the outcast who is trying his best, but Dad can't see. Ralu, an orphan like myself, who is just trying to find his place in the world. And Neteyam. Sweet, brave, Neteyam. The perfect soldier, the perfect piece of art that no one looked closely enough at to see the cracks on. All they see is the facade.

I look at them all. If one of them were to die, part of me would as well. I was a broken piece, with holes that could only be filled by the Sullys, Ralu, and Spider. I was not whole. I probably never will be. My real parents were already gone. If everyone else died as well, I'd be left alone all over again.

I was made by the people around me. If they were gone, I would shrivel up into dust and blow away in the wind. Yes, I might still be alive. But living is not the same thing as thriving.

"If the People harbor us, they will die," Jake said hoarsely. "Do you understand?"

Neytiri stayed silent. I could hear her shaky breathing as she tried not to cry.

I nudged the others, nodding back towards our tent.

Tuk and Kiri stood up, Tuk offering me the blanket. I shook my head, so she wrapped it around her shoulders as though she was freezing, ignoring the dirt in it. Kiri put an arm around her shoulder as she led her back.

I reached out my hands to both Lo'ak and Neteyam, needing their physical presence as we made our way back.

They both accepted, and I breathed a sigh of relief that, at least, for now, they were here, and they were safe. I let go of Lo'ak's hand for a second to grasp and squeeze Ralu's, both to reassure myself that he was there and to tell him that I was there, too.

All six of us walked back to our tent in silence, deep in our own thoughts of the conversation we had just overheard.