unholy desires | jeongcheol

chapter seven

Jeonghan's POV

I checked the time on the alarm clock on my bedside table, bright red lights displayed 8:45 pm. I wanted to go to the confessionals at 9:30. I took a quick shower so I can go straight to bed after. After washing, I grabbed grey sweatpants and a black hoodie to wear. Checking the time again, it was 5 minutes before the time I wanted to go. I walked slowly down the stairs, making sure not to make a sound and hurriedly put my black sneakers on I wore earlier.

Although the walk to the church was quite dark and eerie, the late night breeze was refreshing. It splashed my damp hair every direction it could go, but I didn't mind. It somehow made me feel calm. A couple minutes passed and I stood right in front of the door of the cathedral.

I pushed past the door and walked down the aisle, finally taking in the beauty of the place. The multi-coloured stained glass is a pure definition of art. The intricately carved saints on the walls were divine. You could feel the emotions that were put into each artifact. It is so serene and peaceful that one can feel the presence of God, as if he's touching and looking at you. Ready to hear whatever prayers and woes anyone brings.

A small passage from the altar led me to the small glazed, wooden box. The confessional had a mediaeval design to it, which I found fascinating. There was a cross in the middle of the booth. It was simple, but was there for one purpose only; to confess and ask for forgiveness from the almighty. It had two doors, one closed and the other was welcome for entry. Guessing that someone was already inside, I walked into the empty room. I closed the door, having only the small light bulb behind me as a source of light. I sat down on the fancy velvet chair in the middle of the booth. A barricade with tiny holes was the only thing that separated the two rooms. Nonetheless, there wasn't much to see but a shadow of the pastor. I cleared my throat and greeted the other person. A hum was the response I received, signalling me to continue.

"Good evening, father. I know it's quite late to make a confession, but I really wanted to get it out of my chest." Silence filled the booth, making me cringe in awkwardness. I gulped and tried continuing.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I've done something. Something that's looked down upon. I don't know how to say it. Uh. Okay, Uh." I didn't know how to properly express in words without sounding more horrible than what I already am.

"Go on." A deep voice commanded.

"I kissed someone last night. I vividly remember... I liked it. A lot actually. And I hate it. This person already shows hatred towards me. I guess I'm just troubled?" The end sounded more of a question to myself. The silence was suffocating me and I just wanted to get up and run out of there.

"Sorry, father. I should go." I followed my gut. I stood up and opened the door. As I was about to run, a hand gripped onto my wrist. I was startled. I gazed at the tight grip and looked up. My mouth hung open at the sight. There stood Seungcheol, in an all white robe. I was terrified.

"Jeonghan. Go back inside the booth." Seungcheol commanded. He looked at me attentively, like red laser beams hitting its target. I remained glued to the floor. It felt like I was a mouse stuck in a trap. A gulp from my throat was heard.

"Now, Jeonghan." My eyes couldn't get bigger but, somehow it did. The amount of frustration displayed on his manly face grew by the second. His patience grew thin as I was pulled and pushed inside the booth, closing the door when my back collided on one of the walls.

"S-seungcheol, what are you doing? I thought it was another priest who was supposed to be here." I quivered in embarrassment.

"It doesn't matter who was supposed to be in the booth. What the fuck are you thinking, Jeonghan. To confess something so inappropriate at a church. You also told me you didn't remember anything from last night. You're a liar." Seuncgheol spat with venom laced in his words, going straight through my chest.