The TO's kid (Tim Bradfords daughter ff) ON HOLD

Listening

POV. Quinn

I canr sleep. Guilt eats at me.
Maybe I should have just shut up.
Maybe he is right.
But I cannot imagine myself being near her right now. The thought of her and what she did makes me want to scream at her and I don't think I can contain myself if I were to actually see her.

I feel bad when thinking this. But the thought keeps crossing my mind. I missed her so terribly for so so long but now that sadness has been replaced by anger, and part of my doesn't want her to be back.

I mean yes I want her safe and of the drugs. But I don't know if I want her to live with us again.

Trying to forget that thought I swing my legs out of bed.

It's 6 in the morning and I have school today.

I walk into the kitchen already finding dad there.
„Quinn I think it's okay for you to stay at home today giving your mother was just shot in the head. Besides we're going to visit her." he states.
„I'm fine. I'd rather go to school." I respond.
„You just want to avoid visiting her don't you?" he asks.
„No I just really want to go to school dad." I say.
„Who are you kidding? you know what? No sit down we're going to talk." he states, his voice indicating no room for discussion.

So I slouch down on one of the kitchen island chairs grunting annoyed.

He softens up his tone and says: „I had time to think tonight. And I realise that over all that's happened I kept pushing back what happened. I wanted your mother back to badly I denied all that happened. Yet I think even tho we both have the right to anger, we should wait to confront her and let that anger out until she is of the edge. So I'm willing to listen to why you couldn't just wait a second before yelling at her."

I raise my eyebrows. He's willing to listen?

„Okay. I think that even tho she was shot in the head, she's still the person that left her daughter and husband for years. I know I should have just been quiet but seeing her made me so angry I just couldn't help but speak out about it. And that's why I don't want to see her. I don't think I want to see her any time soon either. Ive missed her so badly but now that I know she's safe and of the drugs I can't help but feel that I don't want anything to do with her. I know that sounds extreme and please don't be mad about it." I respond scared of his reaction.

He's quiet for a second and then sighing he says: „I get it."
„Dad..."
„No I really do get it. I was thinking tonight and I felt so bad but I couldn't help but think that I don't really want her here anymore. I want you to be able to see her and for her to heal and I don't think that this is the place for her to do that. But most of all I think we should take it slow. Let her heal physically and the she's going to rehab. Although I think we're going to set boundaries on how she is allowed back in our lives, I think we should stand with her through her recovery."

I stay quiet for a second. It feels good knowing he understands what I'm feeling and to some point feels the same. But I still don't want to visit mom.

„I really don't want to visit her dad" I say looking down at my hands.
„Quinn..." he says.
„Im going to get angry again and I don't want that. Please." I say.

He sighs „okay."
„Okay?" I ask.
„Yes it's okay. Just take a day to relax. And Quinn if you need to talk about what you saw yesterday night don't hesitate to do so. Even if it's not me. You can talk to Angela or even Chen. I saw you too getting along pretty well." he says.
„Yeah I will. Thanks." I say

„Yeah." he says.

Hugging me he says goodbye and then leaves to go to the hospital.