Addicted ⚠️

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WARNING: MENTIONS OF DRUGS AND SELF HARM



I am addicted,

My brain is speeding,

Until I get my drug.

I can't get it now,

For my love is gone.

He slows down time,

With his beautiful eyes

Calming the storm in my mind.

Charging my nerves with energy,

Tingling all over when he stares at me.

Love is powerful,

Eating my brain,

Only the blade calms my mind,

Not much but it does.

Watching the blood drip,

Addicted to feeling something.

Numbness is a wave,

All over me in my nerves.

I'm addicted to the haze,

The sensation of the inhale,

The nic touching my nerves,

Breathing calmness into me.

Not as good as him,

Not even close.

But it'll have to do.


It was a tough time for me. My boyfriend had just left for 6 months (challenge camp) with no phone and the only source of communication was letters. My parents were yelling at me everyday and taking their frustration out on everyone, mainly me when we got home. They would yell at me over the simplest things and when asked a question, they never laid their hands on me. I didn't trust any adults and only one friend knew about what I was doing to myself. She was doing it too and we started helping each other out with resisting the urges. I haven't done self harm in 5 weeks and 4 days, but I still do occasionally hit the vape. Things at home are slightly better, but still, we have a long way to go.

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