Winter Eyes (JuuzouxOC)

This is Now a Problem

Jūzō didn't talk to me after what happened, he was still quiet and reserved. I didn't understand what was wrong with him, he had never been like that. He always played a big part in the whole CCG, but now he was just a sidekick. He was sad about it, but no one cared, including my friend.
"Hey," I said, greeting my friend, "why won't you give Jūzō a better job? He genuinely needs it right now."
"Sorry, brother, I can't do it, he became weaker, we can't risk it..."
"Do you actually believe that?" I asked, frowning slightly. "You know that's not true, he didn't become weaker, he just feels tired, he needs to be hyped up!"
"No, buddy, we can't do that. Sorry."
"It's fine, I guess."
I walked away, noticing Jūzō sitting in the corner. He was thinking about something, his eyes were focused on one point in the space of the room. I sat on the bench with him, his eyes still focused on the same spot. He didn't seem to want to do anything, but I knew he was worried, worried about everything that was happening.
"Hi, um- Suzuya, are you okay?" I asked, catching his attention.
He didn't turn head to look at me, but he stopped staring at the same spot, so I knew he was listening.
"Yeah, I'm alright, don't worry..."
"Um, I'm sorry for what happened, I didn't say a proper sorry to you for your injuries. So, I'm sorry, I can do something to make you forgive me..."
"It's fine, don't worry," he said, giving me a quick glimpse, "you saved me, so I think it's a proper sorry from you."
"Um, thanks." I said, faking an awkward chuckle, "Do you want me to go so you can rest?"
Jūzō quickly turned to me, grabbing me by my sleeve. His big eyes stared through mine as I watched the tears flow out of his eyes.
"Don't go!" he cried, catching everyone else's attention.
He quickly got back from me, realizing he was acting weird. He wiped his tiny tears away, turning his head away from me.
I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say, so I just kept silent. I knew it could hurt the boy's feelings, but I still didn't know what to say.
"I wanted to tell you something," Suzuya started, bringing back my attention to him, turning his face back to me, "I've always thought of you as- as a friend..." he said, looking me straight in the eyes.
Realizing what he was going to say, I quickly put my head on his shoulder, getting closer to his ear, "I don't think it's the right place to talk about it, Suzuya..."
"Ah," he mumbled, his pale face blushing, "okay then."
"Maybe we'll go somewhere later so you can say what you want to tell me because it's not the place..."
He sat there, looking at me, his eyes completely blank. He was thinking of something, thinking of something deeply, dissociating.
"Hey!" one of my partner's voices interrupted. "It's time to get to training, not time to ramble..."
I stood up, Jūzō doing the same right after me. We went to practice. My kagune was doing a great job that time. We were split into pairs, so each fight session was a different difficulty than the others. It wasn't hard for me to fight, and I thought it was probably because I ate the half ghoul's flesh the previous day, but I tried not to think about it.
The training went well, and Jūzō felt a little bit more like himself, and it made me really happy.
I decided to go to a quiet place with Suzuya, so no one could hear our conversation, and when I was walking to the place we chose, I felt my blood hotten, my breath tighten. I knew I was anxious, but I didn't know why. I knew what he was going to say, but, for some reason, I didn't want to hear it.
***
You want to rip them apart. How could they betray you? How could they?
You sit in your tiny apartment, your hands shaking from anger. No, you can't rip them apart anymore, they are not here, they are in the hands of the CCG, and they might tell them something you don't want them to know.
How painful it wouldn't be, if they actually do it, you're going to rip them apart. Whatever it takes, you'll do it.
***
I walked to the quiet cafe and Jūzō chose to talk in. I knew something bad was going to happen, but, probably, it was nothing but the way I perceived things.
I saw Suzuya sitting by the tiny table through the window of the cafe. He was already drinking his coffee. And, as I saw it, a crippling anxiety filled me from head to toe.
The cafe wasn't very famous around here as there were almost no people, and it was a good choice to talk about the things Jūzō wanted to talk to me about.
I walked in, noticing Suzuya sitting in front of the window sipping his coffee. I walked to the room, anxiety growing stronger.
"Hello." I said, sitting by the table in front of Suzuya.
"Hi..." he said, his pale face blushing once again.
"You can tell me what you wanted to tell now, I know I kinda interrupted, but I still want to hear what you were to say..."
"I think you already know, since, well, you stopped me, so there is no reason to hear it again..."
I gulped, looking away from the cold face. I didn't know what to say again, but I wanted to continue the conversation, so both of the parties knew what was happening.
"I know, but..." I murmured, looking back at Jūzō, "I just want to hear it clearly, so we both know what's going on..."
"I like you," Jūzō said, his eyes watering, "I like you more than anyone I've ever liked..."
Time froze, I didn't know what to say. I did expect him to say something like that, but I'd never thought it was to that extent.
"Suzuya, I-" I started, saliva clicking in my mouth, "I don't know what to say..."
"I know you don't feel the same, but I just wanted to clear it up, so you don't feel weird about my behavior..."
"I understand, but I'm not sure what I feel, maybe it's something I can't explain, but I'll think about it..."
Suzuya's mouth opened slightly, his eyes owning a tiny shine. His invisible brows were far from his eyes farther than they usually were.
He smiled, looking at me. He wasn't crying anymore, he was just smiling. The smile was what I was used to, and it made me extremely happy.