Marvel angst one-shots

Scans

Tony x reader self harm comfort.

Gender neutral reader. TW's: Self-harm, depression, and swearing

Y/n's pov:

I was on my bed reading my book when my boyfriend burst through the door of our shared room.

"I'm a genius love." He says as he rummages around in a bin for something.

"I know, but why are you reminding me?" I smile not looking up from my book.

"Because I am." He says with a huge grin when he finds what he needs and runs back to his lab. I laugh a little at his antics before forgetting about it.

That night at dinner everyone is just talking and laughing but I can't seem to make my mind rest enough to focus. 

Everyone is laughing and you can't even pay attention. Why are you like this. Tony was talking to you earlier and you couldn't even tear your eyes away from the book. It's literally words on a page get over it. There is no way Tony actually loves you.

I sigh as the thoughts run through my mind wishing I could just make them shut up for a second. 

"You okay?" Natasha asks from beside me and I nod before making some excuse saying I'm just tired and heading to my room. Tony isn't in here meaning he still is in his lab still and I'm somewhat grateful considering what I came in here to do. 

I quickly find my blade I had hidden under a drawer and head into the bathroom. I turn the shower on and start to cut on my thighs seeing the millions of scars overlapping and ugly.

Once Tony realizes how fucked up you are he know he made a mistake with you. My thoughts tell me as I cut my skin more. I don't know how I hate my scars but still have the urge to make more. I know I'll regret making more later but the feeling of numbness right now is too good to ignore. 

After I'm done showering I put some bandages over the cuts and sweatpants before heading down to the lab.

"Hey babe." Tony greets as I sit across from him.

"Hey, whatcha working on?" I respond. He explains his current project to me and I listen grateful for the distraction from the burning on my thighs. After a little he is working in silence and I get tired and he notices.

"Why don't we go up to bed. I'm tired" He says faking a yawn and I smile.

The next morning I wake up and he is worriedly working on some hologram at his desk. All I can see is a bunch of codes.

"Morning love." He says to me once he sees I'm awake and comes to sit next to me. I grumble in response not being fully awake yet and notice the worry in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask sitting up.

"Um.. I don't really know how to ask this but, you know how FRIDAY sometimes runs scans to see if everyone is alright and stuff?" He says awkwardly while playing with the blankets and I feel the color drain from my face. 

He doesn't know about the cuts, right? I try to convince myself knowing he has to.

"Well it caught some stuff on your legs and I looked through the programming and stuff to make sure it was true and FRI's codes are all normal so it can't be wrong." He says and I can feel the tears well up in my eyes. 

I hug Tony and start to mumble apologies in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I say unable to stop myself.

"Hey, love, it's okay I promise I'm not mad." He says as he rubs circles on my back. After a bit my crying just turns to sniffles and I back up a bit to look at him.

"I'm sorry for worrying you. It's nothing." I say.

"It's not nothing darling. You're hurting yourself. You gotta talk to someone. It could be me or a therapist or really anyone but I don't want you to keep hurting yourself." He tells me.

"Not a therapist." I say and he nods.

"Ok fine. How about me?" He asks.

"I'll try." I agree and he smiles a bit.

"Good. I love you. No matter what I will always be here for you. I don't care if I'm on the other side of the fucking universe I will gladly drop everything and come to you if that's what you need." He says before kissing me gently on the lips.

"Thank you. And I love you too." 

"Of course now how about I block off my floor from anyone else and you and I just have a lazy day." He says and I agree as he runs off to go make popcorn and leaves me to choose a movie.

A/N: I'm sorry but my mom is so annoying with the parental controls and so I can't access Wattpad on my phone and she'll know If I log in to my laptop at night and I can't do it during the day because I'm usually at my grandma's so updates will be slow and if I do update it will either be short like this or it will take like two weeks to come out. Again I apologize.