Cannes Aftermath

Don't Know What To Do

Across the city, Lisa presses her palm to the red spot on her cheek. The spot where the most loving, caring woman in the world had just slapped her. She falls to her knees sobbing.

She wishes she could turn back time because a big mistake just happened.

Why was she so mean? Why had she lashed out at her best friends, her love.

Her love, that is what started this so many weeks ago.

After Lisa and Jisoo had sex Lisa began to realize what she thought she was missing and why she continued to sleep around. 

With Jisoo she had someone she could lose control with and be dominated by, without judgment. She hadn't been with Jennie yet but she knew Jennie would be her equal in the bedroom and with Chae, sweet, beautiful Chaeyoung, she knew true love.

She had found her one and the bonus of two others that she could see spending her whole life with. So why had she gone and fucked all that up?

Because she was a coward. She had done it to herself, she didn't deserve anyones pity.

She had been spending time distancing herself, trying to understand all these overwhelming feelings she had been having. Trying to find a way to protect herself, if they were not reciprocated.

She had managed to convince herself that no one could love her the way she loved them. They would move on without her, leaving her devastated.

Her overstressed and overtired brain allowed her to see cracks between her and the girls that were not there. Gestures between them that made her jealous and feel left out.

Rosie and Jennie were always huddled together laughing. Jisoo was so beautiful, why wouldn't Rosie pick her. What did Lisa have to offer her?

Instead of bringing up her insecurities and talking to her girls, yes they had been her girls, she got back to the city and held up here while working through how to have the talk.

A day turned into two and she knew when they showed up that she had fucked up and missed the moment to work things out.

In her mind, this was it, they were here to break up with her and she wanted to beat them to it. To protect her heart and inflict some of the pain she felt back on them.

She almost broke the moment Chaeyoung's arms wrapped around her, but her mouth started moving before her brain could catch up.

Jisoo, how dare she blame her. She is the one that has been spending her nights in bed with Lisa's love.

Lisa's love, she physically jolts back and throws herself completely on the floor.

The pain of her cheek doesn't begin to compare to the pain in her heart right now.

Jisoo had tried to deescalate the situation and talk things though, but Lisa's pride wouldn't allow that.

Talk, talking, they had talked about all of this. All of this and more because their first concern was not letting anything ruin their friendship and here Lisa had just nuked it all.

Lisa isn't sure how long she laid there, but her whole body was cold and stiff by the time she moved to get up. Her face was streaked with tears and she had nothing left in her to continue to cry.

Lisa rolled over and noticed something shiny on the floor. When she picked it up, she recognized it as one of Rosie's gel nails.

This was a sign. She had to apologize for her behaviour.

She was going to to get her girl, her girls back.

Lisa grabbed her phone, she knew just what she had to do.