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ALL I DO. { irl }
"what the fuck did he do to you?"
niola explains everything. she tells him that her father wants a divorce, then asked for full custody. she also tells matt about the way he burned her with the pan when she tried to take rayne.
the whole time she speaks, her voice shakes. she isn't used to opening up to people like this – unless she's drunk or something. she's waiting for matt to laugh or make fun of her. but he just listens in silence.
"i just-" she pauses, trying to figure out how to say what she's feeling. "i know that he's a horrible person and i should hate him, but he's still my father."
matt nods, "i understand."
"we were the perfect family when i was a kid. we weren't broke, my parents were in love, and i was happy." niola says. remembering her joyful childhood is more painful than the burn on her shoulder. "but when i was ten, my mom found out that my father had been cheating on her for years. he was pissed, she was heartbroken. he started drinking, doing drugs, and gambling to ignore the guilt he felt. but my mom is still in love with him and she works her ass off just for him to be happy."
matt has no idea what to say. he knows that doesn't relate to what niola is saying, so he isn't sure what would comfort her. but before he could think too hard, she continues.
"my mom had rayne in hopes that they would reconnect through a mutual love for their newborn. but it didn't work. he just felt more guilty so he did harder drugs and spent more of her money." niola rambles, tears forming in her eyes now. "when rayne was born was when he started to get abusive. my mom tried to make him quit spending so much money, and he hit her. i guess the pain in her eyes gave him a sense of power, because then he hit her whenever she didn't show him enough respect." niola says, tears streaking down her face. "up until then, he had never laid a hand on me. i thought it would stay that way, so i tried to talk some sense into him. but he reacted the same way he did when my mom talked to him."
matt grabs her face, using him thumb to wipe tears from her cheeks. he stares into her eyes for a moment, wanting to ease her of all the pain she feels. the only thing he can think to do was hug her. so he does.
matt wraps his arms around her and niola buries her face into the crook of his neck. he can feel the wetness of her tears soaking his skin, but he doesn't care.
he imagines that those tears were the personification of her sadness. then he imagines taking them from her to bear that burden on his own. then, seeing her smile would cure every once of negativity from is body. then, boom! the sadness would be gone.
"that's why i said that i can't love you," niola mutters against his neck. "i'm scared that you're too perfect for me and you'll break my heart – like my father did to my mom."
matt pulls back from the hug, his hands still lingering on niola's waist.
he leans in and niola's entire body is filled with jittery butterflies. their lips brush together and matt pauses. he opens his mouth, about to ask for her consent when niola tightens her arms around him and presses her lips to his.
she smells like lavender and mint, her scent making matt deepen the kiss even farther. the feeling of her lips on his makes a warmth blossom in his chest.
the love matt feels for niola isn't lustful or erotic. it's patient and pure. he doesn't love her for her beauty or body. he's in love with her entire being – her mind, heart, and soul.
he knows that even if she said that she would never love him back, a piece of matt will always belong to niola. and that piece of him is his heart.
niola breaks the kiss to catch her breath. she's never kissed anyone before and she's afraid that she did it wrong. but when her eyes meet matt's, he's smiling at her as though she were the best thing that's ever happened to him.
"i could never hurt you, nia." he tells her, grabbing her left hand and placing a gentle kiss on the knuckle of her ring finger. matt tells himself that one day, he'll put a ring on this finger – claiming niola as his forever.
"do you promise?" niola asks, finding it hard to believe that he could actually love her.
"i promise."
that's when niola makes a promise to herself. she will stop being afraid of love. whatever happens after this between her and matt, she won't be afraid.
.∘◦❀◦∘. a/n : i considered making this the last chapter just to torture u guys for the rest of eternity but i pinky promise i'm not THAT mean 😇😇 ◦∘.❀.∘◦
