South Park Oneshots

Unwanted Attention - Creek

Tw: self harm, mention of suicidal ideation, they get into a fight

It burned. The cuts on Tweek's body hurt beyond comparison. He loved it. He loved digging the razor into his pale flesh and leaving deep gashes. He loved the way the blood pouring down his skin went from warm to cold, and from red to brown, as it dried and rusted from its contact with the air. The only thing he hated was that this was his only way to keep himself from death. It was the only way that made the torment in his mind shut up for a bit, that's what made physical pain so nice. It was easier to handle than the mental agony he was always put through.

He'd been doing this for years, repetitive slicing, disinfecting, and wrapping. He'd grown accustomed to the smell of blood and the pain caused by movement. He was used to the puffy, white scars that the deep gashes became once they healed. He hated that they got to heal but he didn't, so he continued to destroy his scars by adding more. He stopped feeling it after enough scar tissue built up, and each time that happened he created new ones. He almost never felt guilty for it, even if he knew how upset his fiance would be if he'd ever found out.

He had never been naked in front of his partner, Craig before, and he didn't plan to be, which was why he allowed such horrible damage without a heavy conscience. Neither of them were very keen on the idea of sex, even if they were both twenty years old. Craig was raised in a home that taught him to wait for marriage first, while Tweek simply didn't want his loving partner to see the marred horror that his body had become. Unfortunately, no one's wishes were ever kept in the terrible town of South Park, especially if the wishes belonged to Tweek.

He had stripped down to his boxers to put on a cleaner outfit one rather cold evening, his puffed-up scars and fresh gashes out in the chilly air, certain he'd locked the door. His certainty was turned into particles when Craig lumbered into their shared room after a strenuous day of work. The blond jumped and fumbled to dress himself, but it was already too late. Craig had seen the wounds, his eyes wide with what seemed like anger, when in reality it was worry.

To Craig's defense, he'd never handled emotional things well, especially if the emotions were extreme. Such a high amount of concern, mixed with exhaustion from work, created an overwhelmed, unwillingly angry man. Craig knew yelling at him would only worsen the already heavy situation, but he had already blacked out before he could control himself. He stormed up to Tweek, getting in his face and starting to yell.

"What the fuck, Tweek?! Why would you even consider doing this to yourself?! Do you know how stupid and reckless that is?! I knew something was up, but I didn't think you'd be foolish enough for this!" He continued to scream at Tweek, grabbing him by the shoulders and shoving him back. Tweek ran into the wall, wincing. Those would have to scab up again, damn it. Tweek was never known for taking a stressful situation correctly, so when he was shoved, something inside him snapped.

"Why, Craig?! Maybe because my parents used to drug me with meth for pity money! Maybe it's because they tried to kill me and passed it as a suicide attempt for the same reason! Maybe it's because every waking moment of my life is just a god damn shitshow! This is the only fucking thing I have that makes living easier and I won't let you fucking take that from me!" The blond screamed back, shoving Craig to the ground in his own fit of rage.

"No one in my fucking life ever understood that one medical diagnosis does not excuse drugging your fucking kid! You don't understand how hard it is to know that your parents only wanted you so they could get money off of your own torture! You don't know how hard it is listening to adults and children both calling you a spaz and telling you that you'll never get anywhere in life! It doesn't fucking matter anyway, you're acting like I'm trying to kill myself!" He shouted, his body starting to tremble from the stress threatening to break him.

Craig stared for a moment, picking himself up before starting to yell again. He didn't realize he was crying as he spoke, far too deep in his own mind to care about whether he was blubbering or not.

"What do you mean it doesn't matter?! You're hurting yourself, Tweek, of course it matters! You shouldn't do this to yourself!" He sniffled, taking a deep breath. Why did he get so mad? He was just worried about his poor fiance. He knew something had been wrong with him, even if they wouldn't have sex, Tweek refused to so much as change or bathe in front of him. Craig had thought he had body dysmorphia or some kind of self-image issue, which he did his best to help with, he didn't think it was this.

"Why couldn't you talk to me about this? Is it my fault? Do you not trust me?" He whispered. He didn't usually get this worked up, but seeing that Tweek's emotional pain has resorted to such physical torture broke his heart.

"I… fuck, I don't know, I didn't mean to yell at you." He pulled his fiancé into a hug, being gentle so he didn't rip any more wounds open. Guilt was crashing down on the noirette like the thrashing sea now, threatening to drown him.

"Oh god, Tweek, I'm so sorry." He cried into the blond's shoulder. Tweek wrapped his arms around his sobbing partner, rubbing his back in a soothing manner.

"It's okay Craig, I know you're just worried and overwhelmed. I shouldn't have yelled either." He murmured, leading them to the bed. He turned them around and gently nudged Craig to sit, then crawled into his lap so he could hold him.

"None of this is your fault baby… I never said anything. I do trust you, this is just something I wanted to keep to myself." The blond tried to explain, running his hands through Craig's hair. Craig wrapped his arms around him, looking at his soon-to-be husband with a tear-stained, splotchy face.

"I could have asked if you were okay, I could have helped." He sniffled. Tweek cupped his cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe his tears away. He kissed the tip of the taller man's nose.

"You need to stop, though… I can help you find other ways to cope. I just can't stand the idea of you hurting yourself honey." The noirette begged. Tweek thought about it, he thought for a few minutes. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he lied to Craig. He didn't want a different way to cope though. The mechanism he had worked for him. He sighed softly, he didn't want to upset his fiancé like this again.

"Okay… I'll try. I do want you to understand that even if I do my best to stop, though, relapses are going to happen." He mumbled. He couldn't believe he was actually going to try and stop. He was surprised he actually wanted to.

"I'll also try to talk to you if I want to, okay?" He added, in hopes of calming Craig. The noirette eventually nodded, wiping his face off with his sleeve.

"I understand honey. I'll always be able to listen, whether it's three in the morning or if I'm in the middle of rush hour at work." He promised, pulling the blond into a loving, passionate kiss. It was during that kiss that Tweek realized something. Despite the hell his life had been, there was something good that came from it. That something was Craig. As long as he had him, he had something to try and get better for.