South Park Oneshots

Kenny's Crushes - Stylenny

Cw: a lot of sexual innuendos, they talk about their sex lives, they're 18 and seniors in highschool, this one sucks because 90% of it was written at four in the morning 👍

Kenny wasn't known for being a romantic boy. He wasn't known for much aside from his flirtatious and sexual behavior to most. He was known for being poor and sensitive by friends. Not once did anyone think Kenny was able to fall in love. Everyone assumed that he would be a whore until he died. Kenny knew what his peers said about him, he knew all of the rumors, and all of the not so much rumors, but they never bothered him. He could admit that he was a whore, and he had very little shame in that fact. At least he did, until he realized something. Kenny McCormick was in love. Not only was he in love, he was in love with two of his best friends.

Stan Marsh. He had greasy hair that matched raven's feathers in color, and his eyes reminded Kenny of blueberries. They were, of course, blue, but with swirls of gray that seemed like two hues of paint mixing together in a cup of water. He was a football player, he had a stocky build with strong arms and broad shoulders that Kenny would kill for a chance to wrap his arms around and dig his nails into. He would love it just as much to be embraced in those muscular arms. He could have drooled at the idea of those abs and toned thighs Stan hid under his clothes. Aside from his physical features, Stan Marsh was a sweetheart that loved animals and cared too much about his friends. He was also a little self absorbed, but Kenny didn't mind that.

Kyle Broflovski. Kenny wasn't sure where to begin with all of the things that made the hothead attractive. His red hair was like blood with orange glitter, tied back in a fluffy ponytail that seemed like cotton candy to Kenny. He smelled like cinnamon and pinewood, which shouldn't have smelled good together, but it enticed Kenny. He wasn't extremely short, but he wasn't exactly tall either, standing at five foot seven. He was the school's lead basketball player though, all lean muscle and waxed, pale and freckled skin. His cheeks were always flushed red, sometimes from embarrassment, and the rest of the time from anger. Kenny loved it. His eyes were the shiniest green, Kenny swore they glowed in the dark.

Kenny was torn from his daydreams when Kyle waved his hand in front of his face. His gaze was sharp and calculated, like it always was. Kenny supposed having an A+ in trigonometry made Kyle the smartest kid in South Park. Kenny ran his tongue along his tooth gap, where he'd knocked one out during his endeavors in baseball.

"Dude, we're trying to play Mario Kart. Are you high again?" The ginger scolded him. Kenny grinned, sliding his parka off. Cartman hadn't joined this week's sleepover since he was grounded. Kenny saw it as an opportunity to finally confess to the pair.

"I'm not high, I know you hate that stuff." He grabbed his controller and looked at the screen, ready to play. Kyle rolled his eyes and did the same.

"Don't worry about it dude, Kyle doesn't like anything that can be unhealthy." Stan kept his eyes on the TV. The syllables in his words fused together enough for Kenny to know he'd been drinking.

"Sorry for worrying about your health. Both of you." Kyle grumbled, his grip on his controller tightening. Stan started the game to try and get rid of the tense atmosphere.

"So… any lovers in your life right now, Kenny?" Stan asked to break the ice. The blond shrugged, taking last place, as he usually did.

"Nah. I decided to stop sleeping around, I don't want any STDs and… I have a couple of people I actually have interest in." He knocked an NPC into the side. Kyle huffed in annoyance as he and Stan fought for first place.

"What about you two?" Kenny glanced at the two, who were both glaring at the screen.

"There's a guy or two, I suppose." Kyle responded, bomb shelling Stan and knocking him back.

"Hey!" Stan interjected with playful agitation. He huffed and rolled his eyes.

"Agreed, and one of them just knocked me back seven places!" He barked out a reply. He gripped the controller tight when he realized what he just admitted. Kenny paused the game and looked at his two best friends, who were staring at each other.

"Dude, really?" Kyle asked, his tone reflecting his enamourance. Stan nodded, his cheeks burning red. Kenny could feel his heart threatening to shatter. He knew he didn't have much of a chance if they got together. He assumed they both had the same intentions; hope that one of their options felt the same way and then try to get over the other. That was his intention. Polyamory wasn't something he thought Stan or Kyle would be into.

"Well, yeah dude. You're my super best friend." Stan finally replied. Kenny swallowed the lump in his throat. He set his controller down and slipped his parka on, ensuring that his face was hidden, as it normally was.

"Would you want to… like, date, then?" Kyle rubbed his exposed nape. Kenny longed to press a sleepy kiss to his pale skin during cold nights. Stan nodded, covering his face with one hand. Kenny wished he could cup his cheeks with both hands and tell him how much he loved him.

"I would… but there's another guy that I like too. You said you had a couple as well?" Stan looked at Kyle hesitantly, then flicked his gaze to Kenny for a quick moment. Kenny didn't notice, pulling himself off the couch and to his feet. Kyle picked up on what Stan was trying to say, and nodded.

"Yeah, me too." He glanced at Kenny as well. The pair still on the couch grinned and stood as well. They gave each other a quick peck on the lips. Kenny took a step towards the door, but he was stopped when Kyle got in front of him. The redhead tugged his hood down and pulled him into a gentle kiss. Stan wrapped his arms around the blond's waist from behind, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck.

"G-Guys, what-?" Kenny tried to question, but Kyle kept him in a liplock. It took Kenny a moment to wrap his mind around what was happening, but when he did, he grinned. His eyes fluttered shut and his hands slid against Kyle's waist, pulling him in close. Stan pressed himself against Kenny, craning his neck enough to press kisses to Kenny's cheek. Kyle eventually pulled his lips from Kenny's, and Stan from his face.

"You guys don't care that I'm a whore?" Kenny asked, his voice low and surprisingly quiet. He used to be so proud of having an amazing sex life. Now that he actually loved someone, two someones, though? He was ashamed that he'd slept with a majority of the cheerleaders, half of the football team, and everyone but Kyle on the basketball team. That wasn't even including the time when he was on the baseball team.

"Jesus, Ken, no. A bit questionable? Maybe. Something we'd suddenly not want to date you over? Hell no!" Kyle responded, wrapping his arms around Kenny in a loose hug.

"Agreed, dude. Besides, I've slept with everyone on the football team but Craig, so you aren't the only one with a few people under your belt." Stan added, running a hand through Kenny's tangled hair. Kenny chuckled softly and nodded.

"Does that mean Stan and I have a virgin on our hands?" The blond looked at Kyle with a teasing smirk. The ginger turned as red as his hair.

"I've had sex before! It's just not my favorite thing in the world." He grumbled, crossing his arms.

"If you don't tell us who then we're going to assume you're trying to save your pride." Stan grinned, joining Kenny's game in teasing his super best friend, now super boyfriend.

"Ugh, fine." Kyle rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Butters." Stan and Kenny's eyes bugged out of their heads.

"We would usually hook up if we needed a break or during parties." Kyle explained, sitting on the couch again.

"You mean to tell me that Butters, the kid that swore he would never have sex with a guy, the kid who wears a promise ring, had sex with you?" Kenny questioned.

"I don't want to talk about it, there wasn't anything more than just stress relief going on. It didn't last longer than a month anyway." Kyle watched as Stan and Kenny sat on the couch with him.

"Alright, alright." Stan chuckled softly, patting Kyle's head.

"I got to sleep with Craig Tucker once." Kenny decided a topic change was necessary, but he liked talking about sex lives as well.

"How did you convince him to do that?" Kyle looked at him skeptically.

"I asked Tweek first." Kenny grinned. If this was how casual they could be with each other while they were dating, he never wanted this relationship to end.