Draco's Hufflepuff | Emerging

Fifty: Birthday Wishes

**

Sunday, 5th January, 1997

A witch or wizard's seventeenth birthday was supposed to be something they looked forward to, and one of the most important days of their lives. I had been looking forward to it as well. I could legally use magic now, and I should be happy.

The idea of this day was so much better than the reality. I thought I'd change somehow, like I'd be different. But I didn't feel anything. Maybe if I were with Draco, I'd be feeling differently, but I just felt... nothing.

I woke up in my dormitory all alone, in complete silence, my duvet tucked under my chin. I was trying to muster the courage to get out of bed, but I couldn't seem to. I was sure if I blew out air out of my mouth, it would mist in the air.

I wished I were waking up in Draco's arms more than anything, like I had done over Christmas and New Year.

Even though I had been back at Hogwarts now for a day and a bit, Draco and I had already exchanged a few owls. It certainly helped settle my anxiety because he seemed like his usual self. He didn't give me any reason not to worry, anyway.

**

I was sat in the Great Hall waiting for breakfast to conjure, and it was nice to receive a 'happy birthday,' off everyone at the table. Even Riley wished me a happy birthday, which surprised me.

Draco packed one of his Slytherin jumpers in with my belongings with my trunk, and I was half-tempted to wear that, but I was afraid I was going to look really weird without him being there with me. So, I decided on a yellow floral blouse, with some Muggle denims, and a chunky brown cardigan.

A singular owl flew in through the doors of the Great Hall and dropped two letters in front of me. I recognised the handwriting on both immediately – one was from my parents, and the other was from Draco. I tucked them both in my cardigan pocket to read later.

**

I thought I would be a lot sadder today than I was, but I still had this sense of longing that wouldn't shift. I was sitting in the Great Hall still hours later because that's where the students spent their time whilst they remained here, and I didn't want to be rude and go off somewhere on my own. Truth be told, I didn't want to be on my own either.

I played a few games of Wizard's Chess, Exploding Snap, and we all had an interesting discussion about Christmas traditions in the Muggle world. I had to keep fighting the urge to talk about my two times going into Muggle London with Draco.

I was sipping on a cup of tea and eating two chocolate chip cookies, because there was a constant supply of some sort of treat on one of the house tables. Even though it was going to be dinner in a couple of hours, I figured it was my birthday, so I allowed to indulge more.

One of the house elves came and asked me what flavour birthday cake I would like for pudding that evening. I smiled and said for them to surprise me, I would be happy with anything. It was the truth as well; any cake is good cake.

**

As things had quietened down in the Great Hall, so I decided to read my two letters. I got the envelopes out from my cardigan and debated with myself for a few minutes about which to read first.

I ripped open my mum and dad's letter first because I was more anxious for their response than I was Draco's. I figured if my mum and dad were upset with me, and I think I could tell in their writing, then at least I'd have Draco's owl to cheer me up again.