All he had said was "Okay leavin now." That was it. 3 words in one text was all it took for my heart to go on overdrive. The last couple of days I hadn't really left my house because I got stuck on a really good television series, thus leaving me with tons of time to overthink. All I was really overthinking was Marcus though. Was is true that he said he liked me? What if he did like me? How would I ever say I liked him back? I wondered if he was embarrassed like I was...or maybe he was comfortable with being...you know. Fucking hell, I didn't even know if he liked me for sure. I really needed to find out and I was hoping that that night, at Jack and Finn's party, after filming our video, with quite a bit of alcohol in each of our systems would be the right time. I mean, up until he was on his way over to my house I was sure of it! But now that he was probably like 5 minutes away I just felt like crawling under my bed forever. But, of course, my mum would answer the door and send him upstairs and he'd find me. Looking like an idiot. That was obviously not a solution, so I'd have to man up and get through these next couple hours without being awkward.
Surprisingly, it wasn't awkward at all. Turns out, Zoe wanted in on the filming and took a train down to Brighton. By the time she got to mine, Marcus and I were finished and we decided to all cook in my kitchen before we left for the twins'. It was kinda cute. Cooking with Marcus. Zoe just sat out and let us cook together. Maybe she would stop being annoying and just let things happen between he and I more often. That'd be quite ideal, but Zoe will be Zoe! Marcus and I actually made a really great meal. We made spaghetti and meatballs, a cesar salad, and garlic bread. Although filming with Marcus and eating a big, home-made, delicious meal with my best friends was amazing, the best thing about that afternoon was having subtle yet fulfilling physical contact with Marcus. I mean, when we were cooking his slight touch on my waist or when our arms brushed. It was all I needed really. But there was a party ahead of us all, and I was anxious as hell.
Zoe got in my shower first, leaving Marcus and I alone in my room. God, he was gorgeous. He looked tired and I completely understood why he would. But how could a person look so tired yet sexy at the same time!
I must have been staring for a while (probably going into one of my crazy dazes) because Marcus gave me a weird, confused look.
"Sorry, bro," I tried to save myself.
"I know I'm gorgeous but that can't be why you're staring at me! I've got a spider on my head, haven't I?" he said with a smirk.
"Well...there's no spider."
"So you think I'm gorgeous, huh?" he smirked and I could see the pink on his cheeks.
"Well...you're okay," I said, nearly falling off the bed with laughter.
He just sat there, mouth wide open. He was obviously speechless.
"Hmph, if it makes you feel better, Marcus, I do think you're quite good-looking," I said after seeing how shocked he was.
He immediately smiled. Truthfully, I thought he was way more than "good-looking." He was the most attractive man I'd ever seen. Far better than models and my friends' boyfriends, but he didn't have to know that. At least he didn't right in that moment.
Zoe walked in wearing her robe and carrying her overnight bag. Good timing. She may have been annoying but boy, did she have good timing!
I got in the shower and tried to do a play-by-play of what would happen tonight and how I'd approach Marcus about my feelings. I do this for most things; try to figure out what's going to happen (in my head) before they happen so I can make it happen my way. But, of course, they never go like that. But at least I'd create the general gist of how it'd go.
I hoped that that night would be a special night for Marcus and myself and hopefully a new beginning
