The Bully

Chapter Eight

Edinburgh took my breath away. Every street was a photograph and I took to walking about day and night when I could with my camera. Living with Dotty in her townhouse was a different experience to anything I'd ever known. It had never occurred to me that my father's cousin was a wealthy woman in her own right. Her parents had left her their house when they passed and it was where she lived now. The house had three stories and she gave me the top floor, saying that it was too far for her old legs, though she looked better than she had in years.  Moving away from the toxicity of Summers House had done her the world of good and I felt it working it's magic on me as well. We got along just as well as we had when I was a child and she gave me a true sense of freedom. Dotty wouldn't accept any money from me at all and was very stern about the fact I would not work while I was studying. She worked herself at a gallery in town and would often critique my work, picking out samples of my best photographs to display, helping me to establish myself as an up and coming name.

I found college was a hard step to take, as I was anxious of being around other people. Those last days in Calgary had left me scarred. Dotty had suggested I get counselling, said I'd been through a lot of traumatic abuse but I couldn't face that. The thought of going over my past in intricate detail scared me, but I promised her I would consider it. I was something of a novelty piece at college as I was the only Canadian, but there were a lot of other accents, English, Scottish, American and different European and Asian accents as well. The city was multicultural and everybody was welcome. In time I lost my fears and started to develop  friendships with my fellow students though I never got particularly close to anyone. My own company suited me; it was safe and easy and nobody had any expectations on me that way. I shunned nights out in town for nights prowling the streets with my camera capturing images of the city life after dark. And I lived in my studio and dark room, manipulating my images and creating unique pieces of art that Dotty would then display and occasionally sell on. By the time I finished college I was ready for a degree in film and photography at the university.

Life was predictable, with a routine I was comfortable with and I should have been content,  but at the back of my head there was always Bret. I ached for him and would often dream of him at night then waken remembering what had happened and hate myself for letting my guard down or hate myself for leaving him. Dotty was curious about what happened between us but I just said he was collateral damage; I'd needed to leave and a long distance relationship between the two of us could never have worked. She didn't pry which I was grateful for because the lie hurt just as much as the truth. I'd been asked on dates a couple of times in college but I always turned them down, said I was busy with my photography. I knew that the term ice princess was chucked around a bit, but I ignored it. Rather that than set myself up for pain and hurt again.

Jackie was in touch quite a bit when I first moved over, but she avoided any mention of Bret or Tom. I was sometimes curious but if Bret had found someone else I didn't want to know. As time passed though we grew apart finding we had less and less to talk about. Maybe it was for the best though; I couldn't go back to Calgary and she wouldn't be likely to come across to the UK anytime soon.  But about two years after I'd left a letter came from her and inside there was another envelope.

Hey Angelina,
This is just a quick letter to wish you a happy birthday and say I hope you are still loving the Scottish life. I miss you and I'm sorry I'm not in touch as much as I should be. I just wanted you to know that me and John got engaged and we'll be married next Spring! I'm so excited and I hoped you might come. I know you don't want to come to Calgary but things have changed. Tom moved away about six months ago. He joined the army! Nobody was as shocked as me by that development! Your mom is basically a recluse now and never leaves the house. Bret is going to be John's best man and we thought it'd be awesome for the four of us to be together. I know a lot went on between you and Bret but I was hoping you could put your differences aside just for the one day? Anyway let me know. Love you,
Jackie