The Poets

Chapter Four

"It's time."

Todd looked at Neil in the pitch black darkness of their room, he was still a little foggy from sleep, but he reluctantly sat up out of bed.

Todd looked at Neil, "are we sure about this...?" He took a beat, "I mean we can get in trouble.."

Neil ruffles Todd's already messy bed head, "Don't you worry about that, Carpe diem Todd...seize the day!" Neil replied with a grin

When Neil touched Todd's head, he swore he almost melted right then and there. Todd made sure to grab his copy of Walt Whitman before leaving, maybe he will get the courage after all..

They cautiously left their dorm, Neil made sure there was no trace of teachers before turning to Todd, "See, all good!",but the creak of the door alerted something far worse than a teacher. Out of the shadows came the guard dog..

"Oh Christ Neil, I told you!", Todd said in a hushed whisper

The two boys leaned close to the wall, making an attempt to the reach their dorm door before the dog makes any noise. Neil's hand scanned across the wall trying to feel for the doorknob, but Neil's hand landed on Todd's instead. Their hands felt electric beneath each others touch. Instead of moving his hand, Neil left it on top of Todd's for comfort as the dog began to growl and bare its teeth.

Todd squeezed his eyes shut, his grasp on Neil's hand made his knuckles turn white. Right before the dog launched at them, the noise of dog treats being dropped on the floor echoed through the halls. The dog bolted for the noise, going back to being a normal domesticated pet rather than one of Satan's hounds.

"C'mon you wimps!", Charlie hoarsely whispered

They looked at the dog happily chewing treats and wagging its tail, they stifled laughs realizing my how harmless the dog actually was. Neil kept his hold on Todd's hands, and looked at him with a sweet smile. It looked like Neil was about to say something until Charlie turned back around

   "When I said c'mon, I meant NOW!", Charlie harshly whispered

   Neil cleared his throat letting go of Todd's hand, "Well, better listen to Charlie huh..?"

   "Yeah..", Todd responded looking down

   They started their journey to the cave in silence, until they were far enough from the school to make sure nobody would hear them. The boys began to converse joyously about how they're "basically ninja masters".

Todd had to quicken his pace to catch up to Neil, "That was pretty close huh?"

"Yeah, if we were caught my father would've killed me...", Neil replied focusing on remembering the way to the cave

   "Mine too..", replied Todd looking up at the sky

Finally, they reached the cave and they all began to settle inside. Todd sat perched in the corner and Neil plopped down beside him, their knees brushed together but neither boys made any effort to move away.

   As the poets read, Todd listened happily. All of them are so open with each other, he wonders what it would be like if he could be the same...could he? Neil makes him feel like he could. Actually, Neil makes him feel like he can do a lot of things..

   Neil's passion as he reads is enough to make him feel inspired, like if he wanted to maybe he could join in on the group reading..

   No more time to think, just do it.. seize the day! Todd rose from his spot on the dirt floor and shakily took out his copy of Walt Whitman, gaining a happily shocked look from Neil. His throat was bone dry as he stood in front of the poets.

   "I- I wasn't originally going to read, but uh well I don't know..", Todd looks at Neil, "I guess you guys inspired me.."

   He begins to flip through the pages of his copy before landing on one poem. He shakily began to read.
  
   "A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them."

   He looks to Neil, hoping he would see an impressed look spread upon his face. Neil looked back at him with a strange glimmer in his eyes, perhaps it's a proud look...Todd had never gotten one of those before. That look gave him enough bravery to finish his reading. He began to read again, this time with a sudden boost of confidence in his voice.

   "And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul."

   He finished reading, and looked around trying to decipher everyone's reaction in the cave. There's a moment of silence..

   "WOO TODD, BRAVO!", exclaimed Neil, he was stood up clapping and hooting loudly

   The others joined in, all standing up and rushing towards Todd all with proud expression on their faces. Todd was grinning from ear to ear, he felt completely accepted. He felt like a dead poet, like one of them.

   After all the excitement, they all began to sneak off to their dorms. Whispering goodbyes, the dead poets dispersed and Todd and Neil were left alone.

   "Todd, you really did it!", Neil looked at him with that glimmer still remaining in his eyes

   "I mean- I was only able to do it because of you." Todd replied looking down at his feet, focusing on the walk

   Neil looks at him inquisitively, "What do you mean..?"

   Todd's face flushes a little, "I don't know, you just seem like you could do anything and that gives me the confidence to do things..that I usually wouldn't..", he looked back at Neil who had stopped walking and began to stare at him with a strange expression.

   "Hey.. what's wr-", Neil quickly wrapped Todd up into a warm embrace, tucking his head into Todd's shoulder. Todd was stunned at first, but he swiftly embraced him back. He hoped it would never end, he hoped they could just stay attached like this forever, but after what only felt like a moment it ceased.

   Neil let go, but left his hands grasping Todd's shoulders. He looked at him, his gentle brown eyes still sparkling with the glimmer, "Thank you Todd.."

   Neil began to walk away back to the school, but Todd stood still attempting process what he was feeling. His heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest, his entire body felt like it was burning, and his head was foggy and clouded. Either this was a heart attack or worse...he's in love with Neil.