"You're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years"
Nikolai Lantsov x fem!OC
[Storm and Siege- ]
Storm and Siege (Complete)
Ruin and Rising (Ongoing)
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Olysia knocked on Alina's door with her brand new kefta in hand. Alina opened the door and yanked Olysia in the room so fast she stumbled as she entered. Olysia caught her footing and was gobsmacked at how fancy it looked compared to the villages they were coming from.
"All of this is for one person..." Olysia trailed off.
"There's something about Ravkans who hold power that seem to enjoy extreme luxury." Alina pursed her lips as if to hold back. "Well fed, fine clothing, with a golden roof over their head."
"I'd like to think I'd be different but if I grew up the way they did, why would I? I'd be just as bad as them." Olysia admitted.
"But if you grew up like them then you'd be depriving the world of the true Olysia Kuznetsova and all of your colorful personality."
"A lot of people would be better off, believe me." Olysia pretended to brush off a speck of dust on her leg.
"I think many people would say differently." Alina gently disagreed.
All Olysia could do was sigh.
She had to hold back all of the words she threw at herself in the middle of the night with the moon as her only witness. Olysia always felt like she was never enough.
It felt like her ribs were too small and it was damaging her lungs with every breath she took. Or maybe she broke her ribs somehow and there were bone shards that were stuck, cutting into her heart slowly until it fatally wounded her.
It left Olysia feeling unsatisfied. It didn't matter how many steps she took because the staircase was never ending. Like there was no real point to her existence and if for whatever reason she vanished, nothing would be affected.
From a logical perspective, she didn't matter. No hard feelings, of course, it was just a matter of fact.
If Alina disappeared? Ravka would mourn.
If the Darkling disappeared? There would be parades and celebrations.
Any member of the Lantsov family would disappear? Ravka could be invaded in a moment.
If Olysia were to go missing? Another Fabrikator would take her place and all would be normal.
That's why Olysia was always focusing on what was next. Because without accomplishing anything, there is no use for her.
Olysia knew that. The Darkling knew that. Olysia wondered how long it would take until Alina realized that too.
"How are you feeling about tonight's dinner?" Olysia tried to move on so she wouldn't have to acknowledge Alina's blind faith on how people viewed Olysia. It proved to be a very successful attempt because Alina groaned.
