Isabella Parker was moved away from her six brothers and friends at the age of 8 following her parents divorce, with the hopes of starting a new life with her Dad in New York.
Now, six years later, young Izzy is 14 and forced to move back home as he...
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CHAPTER TWELVE
TW: panic attacks
This one comes on much faster than the others, it's aggressive and rapid. All I feel is my hand on my heart as the rest of my body turns numb, a floating sensation filling my veins.
My blood runs dry, I feel completely deflated as I move my knees to my chest in what attempts to be a comforting positing.
My hands are hysterically trembling, I can't get them to stop as I rub them together in a frenzy.
Get yourself out of this Izzy. I repeat in my head anxiously, wanting to save myself but not being able to remember how.
"One hundred...ninety seven." I mumble incoherently, my words unsteady. "Ninety— ninety four." I try and say this more clearly but am met with a painful cramp in my muscle as I try to calm down. "Ninety.. uh ninety..." I can't remember the next number in my sequence, my head hollow suddenly.
"Izzy? What's going on?" Flynn's voice sounds far away, like I'm underwater and he's calling me from above the surface. I'm drowning again.
I can feel my heartbeat quicken against my rib age as I struggle to find my normal breathing pattern. It's all I can think about, it feels like I've forgotten how to live.
I gasp for air desperately my breaths sounding raspy. All the sudden I couldn't breath. It was like there was no more air left in the world.
I'm hyperventilating, tingling. My hands shake as I bring them up so my ears, clawing at them nervously as I make an attempt to drown out the sound of my own heart pounding restlessly.
I choke on nothing as I feel trapped helplessly in this void of panic, fearing I may never make it out alive. I sit there and wait for the feeling of my head exploding, for the overwhelming feeling to drag me down further and further until I suffocate.
It feels like I'm dying, I don't know how to stop sobbing as my head swarms with worry. My heart feels hollow, my head feels crushed.
My body feels like a balloon being let go of, floating up further and further. My legs feel like they're stuck in concrete blocks, being weighed down harder by the minute.
I'm not in my body as panic consumes me hole, not noticing Ezra coming up to me. His voice is distant, it sounds pleading as he gently tries to pry my hands from my ears. "Listen to me Belly. Listen to the sound of my voice, just keep breathing. You're doing great."
I try to focus my mind onto his voice, onto the comfort of his presence. My wrists are brought to my lap by his firm grip, I quickly find my legs and begin to dig my nails into the skin, not even feeling the usual sharp pain.
