Y/N POV:
having anxiety really fucking sucks, to be blunt. i'm anxious about most things most days, but social aspects of life are the worst for me. i have always wished i could be born again and have no social anxiety, as well as being outgoing. i've always longed to be someone who can have a conversation with anyone. my boyfriend, dokyeom, is that type of someone. he does it so naturally, so flawlessly, and i've always been jealous of it.
when i met him, i found a safe space. my anxiety disappears when i'm alone with him. i can talk to him for hours with no nervous sweats, heart racing, or fiddling of any kind. however, that's not the case with the rest of the world. don't get me wrong, i adore his 12 best friends more than anything in this world. when dokyeom and i started dating 2 years ago they took me in and made me feel welcomed immediately. i can happily say they are my best friends now too. however...my anxiety doesn't ever take a day off. sometimes when we are going to hangout all together, i get a bit nervous. i couldn't tell you why.
tonight, however, is an even harder situation. they are having a company dinner to get ready for promotion for their new album, and i was invited to come along. dokyeom is so excited that i'm coming and i wouldn't miss it for the world. but it's a few hours until i have to leave and i'm freaking out. i woke up extra anxious today, which happens every once in a while. i haven't left the house yet today, and i've been alone with my thoughts.
dokyeom has been at practice since i woke up, and i miss him. i could use his happy spirit right now. i lug myself up off of the bed and attempt to start getting ready. i don't want to take off the oversized t shirt of dokyeom's. damn i wish i could just go in this. but instead i have to put on a nice dress and do my makeup and hair. usually i would be all for this, but today i'm not. by the time i put on my dress i have wasted almost 40 minutes of getting ready time by psyching myself out.
my phone buzzes and makes me look away from the mirror,
dk: pretty girl! missed you this morning ❤️ still good to meet at the restaurant at 7?
i smile, as i do every time i think about him. i feel a bit calmer already, but get anxious about traveling there by myself and having to find everyone. i HATE walking into a busy place alone and having to find the person i'm meeting. it's a social anxiety trigger for me. as if he read my mind, i got another text,
dk: oh and don't worry! i'll be standing outside waiting for you at the door. see u soon baby
and this is why i love him. i really found myself a 'if they wanted to, they would' kind of guy. i feel less nervous now and continue getting ready after responding, telling him i can't wait.
———-
i walk down the street after getting off of the subway, feeling a bit awkward in my fancy attire. we aren't really the fancy restaurant crew, and this one is a big deal from what i've heard. i focus on not tripping in my heels and turn the corner, seeing dokyeom leaning against the wall on his phone. standing there, just like he promised he would be, he looks perfect. he IS perfect. he's wearing a black suit, that fits him literally... perfectly. i smile to myself, obsessing over how i got so damn lucky with him.
as i approach him he's still looking down so i say "excuse me, handsome man, i'm looking for my boyfriend, have you seen him?"
he looks up and chuckles once he sees it's me. "oh hello beautiful lady, i think i might have to steal you from him. sorry, you're mine now". he puts his hands on both sides of my waist and kisses me sweetly. i wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly, trying to wash away the anxiety of the day and prepare myself to go inside.
"seriously baby, you are the most beautiful girl in the world" he says as he pulls away and looks at me. he takes my hand in his and holds it up in the air as i spin around for him. we laugh as i spin and almost trip cause of these damn shoes.
