Y/N POV:
my hair becomes a knotted mess as i flip over and change my position for the hundredth time tonight. my eyes open, filled with frustration as i look at the clock and see that it's 3:45 in the morning. i don't think i've gotten even a minute of sleep so far. i try not to rummage around too much because its shaking the bed and my angel of a boyfriend is sleeping peacefully next to me. i look at him, studying what features i can make out of his face through the lights of the city shining through the window. he's lips are pursed open slightly, and his chest is rising and falling softly as his eyelids flutter. i groan quietly, being so angry that i can't just close my eyes and sleep like that too. i turn around again, accidentally moving too fast and causing a stir.
"baby" i hear groggily from behind me. "go to sleep".
i huff, mumbling a "go to sleep? huh i wonder why i didn't think of that?".
of course i'm cranky, i haven't slept in days and i'm running out of strength. i could scream. after his silence i immediately feel bad that i snapped at him, because it isn't his fault in any sense of the word. i reach behind me and search for any part of him that i can touch, wanting to feel some sort of comfort. i find his hand, to which even in his sleep he opens and intertwines his fingers with mine. i'm happy to find out that he's still asleep, and most likely didn't even take in my sassy remark. i never like to wake him up, his sleep is too precious and he needs to be well rested in order to perform well. i let go of his hand and turn around slowly yet again, wanting to get a good look at him. i get a little less cranky at the sight of him dreaming away.
"goodnight, dokyeom" i whisper, almost inaudibly. i smile to myself as i watch him sleep.
at the sound of his name his eyes groggily flutter open. damnit, i didn't mean to do that. he has enough line of sight with his eyes half open to see me smiling at him like a dork, to which he instinctually smiles back.
"can't sleep?" he asks much more gently, losing the urgent tone that was present in his voice from the first encounter.
he reaches his hand out and brushes the hair out of my face, the tangled mess that has occurred from the restlessness. he cups my cheek with one hand, to which i lean into it and let my eyes shut. i nod my head no. his face fills with concern, and he frowns at the thought of me being awake all night without him. he knows how much these insomnia attacks upset me, and always tells me i can wake him up. i refuse to, of course, and usually try to figure it out on my own.
still half asleep, he wraps an arm around me and pulls me into him. i nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck and take a deep breath. traces of cologne from the day still linger on him, and i am comforted by the notes of mahogany and vanilla that fill my nose. he places one hand on the back of my head and holds me close to him. he slides his other hand gently up my shirt, and rubs circles on my bare back. i relax into his touch, feeling bad that i woke him up but grateful that i can get some relief from the torturous night now.
"i know that you didn't want to wake me up, baby" he mumbles against my hair. i feel his chest move as he speaks, and i listen to the echo of voice. "but please know you don't have to hesitate to do so. trust me, it isn't a hassle for me to hold you like this" he chuckles softly, giving me a loving squeeze.
i smile into his chest at his sweet words.
"you told me once when we first started dating how much you love to be held like this. with your back being rubbed, and your hair being played with. i always remembered those words and would try to do it all the time. when you told me you had trouble sleeping often i remember i stayed up one night doing research, trying to find anything i could to help you" i hear the smile in his voice as he reminisces.
his smooth voice is lulling me to sleep, as i try to fight it to listen to him longer, its getting harder to hold on. he continues on, feeling my eyelids close against his skin,
"i stayed up all night another time holding you just like this, way back when we started dating. i couldn't tell if you were asleep, and i was too scared to stop incase you woke up". my breathing got slower as i slipped away into sleep. the arm i had wrapped around his side was loosening its grip. he smiled to himself, knowing now 2 years into dating the signs that i was asleep.
"i love you baby, i'm right here. sleep tight" he whispers, leaving a kiss on the top of my head. he continues rubbing my back for a little while, humming a lullaby as i fall asleep to the echos of his voice in his chest.
