There Are Worse Things I Could Do (18+)

10. Ana

I somehow survived the application process or orientation or whatever the hell that sexually-charged shitshow was.

Barely.

I kept messing up with the fingerprints, even after insisting I didn't need any help with it, because it was like 99% of my energy was being spent on trying to act normal.

While 99% of their energy seemed to be spent on eye-fucking me.

Yet they still spoke so casually.

Softly, calmly.

Confidently.

Not in a cocky way, the way I almost hoped they would. To be honest, I'd been somewhat relieved when Theo very obviously looked at my phone screen and read that humiliating text I definitely did not send. It gave me a reason to dislike him a little. Even though he swore he didn't actually read the text.

But like I said before, I was good at recognizing bullshit. I saw his eyes moving. I saw the tiny, barely-there smile. He wasn't even being subtle!

Thinking about it very much made me want to crawl in a deep hole and die.

But I settled on pretending that I believed him, if that meant I was one step closer to completing the application process and getting the fuck out of there as soon as humanly possible.

Every additional second with them just made me feel more...chaotic. The way they stared at me reminded me somewhat of the way Daniel stared at Emma.

Like he'd rather have his eyeballs pried out and stomped on than be forced to look away from her for a split second. Or, God forbid, lose her again.

It was the same way Uncle Rurik looked at my mom. She pretended not to see it, and he pretended to believe she didn't notice.

They still managed to be around each other all the time and remain "good friends"...but I didn't trust myself around Theo and Liam.

So that's what I tried to do, too.

Pretend I didn't notice their staring, I mean.

Pretend I wasn't affected by it. Like I wasn't squirming and squeezing my thighs together like a miserable bitch in heat when Liam took my hand and slowly helped me press and roll each of my fingers onto the ink pad, after I kept doing it incorrectly. Because I couldn't stop fucking shaking.

Pretend I was absorbing anything either of them said as they told me about the shelter, their duties, what to expect, what I could and could not do.

Quick-witted, sometimes bitchy, assertive, sarcastic, flirty Ana was nowhere in sight today.

Replaced by this quiet, trembling, nervous, horny stranger I fucking hated with every fiber of my being.

By the time they got to, "Do you have any questions for us?" I was itching to get out of there so bad, I almost cried.

"No, I think I got it all. And everything is pretty much in the papers you gave me, right? In the folder?" I asked, half standing up, beyond ready to literally run to my car and scream.

I couldn't help but feel like life was not going the way it was supposed to.

Maybe my siblings were lost in love and lust, but I didn't want to be like them. I came here to get away from that dumb shit, but then I had to be so freaking late. And then I had to sit in a room with these two beautiful, probably kind and good, apparently "very unselfish" men for an hour.

Fuck my life.

Theo and Liam both stood up, dwarfing me, making me feel even more antsy than I already was. Theo picked up my bag with my to-go containers, poised like he was ready to follow me out the door. "Do you need any help out to your car? With your takeout bags and—"