When Love Comes

July 2022

They were chilling in his basement having just watched Sistas as they usually did on Wednesdays when she stopped him as he was looking for something else to put on.

"What happened with you and Tiara?," she asked turning so she should see his face.

He stopped not expecting her to suddenly bring up his ex wife but turned the TV off. He knew this was about to be a long conversation and no TV would be watched. When he looked at her she had her wine glass in her hand and was looking at him expectantly.

"I already told you we got married right out of college, which thinking back wasn't smart," he said putting an arm up on the couch and running his hand through her curls. 

"We both had really good jobs, a nice place, Shay, it was good but I wasn't happy, I hated my job, she was happy where she was so I felt like had to suck it up, the year before I had the opportunity to buy a two family home and I fell in love with real estate, she wasn't happy about it cause it's a gamble but long as I stayed at my job she was cool, then January of 2014 I just up and quit. Yes I should've spoken to her before but I just felt this was my year, I was depressed and I just knew I couldn't go another year hating my job when I had found something I loved. We fought about it and it was never really over, you know? she just accepted it and I kept it pushing which was not good for us in the long run," he said pausing to grab his water bottle and take a sip.

"Then we found out she was pregnant," he said sighing as he remembered when Tiara told him she was pregnant. At first he was upset since they were in a bad place but when he had time to think he was ecstatic since he had always wanted more kids.

"We weren't in a good place, I was building a business, we already had a toddler and we were saving for a home, so it was a lot. I think that brought us closer together and we remembered how it was with Shay, we were back being those college kids madly in love, 5 months in her water broke," he said as Crystal gasped, he hadn't told her this before so it was a surprise to hear they had a miscarriage.

"I always say 2014 is the worse year of my life, we'd felt her kick, was painting the nursery, and that happened and I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault, did I cause this? Did I stress her out too much by quitting and the new business on top of that? After she was depressed for months like her mom had to come stay because she wasn't good and I was messed up after that, cause I was so excited and ready for another daughter to love. Seeing her go through that was devastating, as a husband I couldn't help my wife, as a man I couldn't take her pain away and that hurt me," he said choking up and barely being able to finish his sentence. 

"Jay," she said moving to hold his hand and place a hand on his neck to comfort him. He knew she was emotional cause she only called him Jay in moments like that, usually it was Ren or more than likely babe.

"It was the worse experience of my life, I don't wish that on anybody," he said trying to shake the tears away.

"I'm sure," she said leaning to grab his water and hand it to him. She watched him take a sip before he sighed and sat his bottle down.

"We worked on us, started marriage counseling and we were good for a while, then I was working on expanding my business and not paying as much attention as she needed. That was hard for me to hear, that my partner wasn't happy with me when I'm thinking I'm doing everything right. We started arguing and eventually nasty words were being said, things that we could never take back, shit that hurt to hear the person who vowed to love you forever say the things they know cut the deepest and I know I did the same. We were doing counseling with our pastor and going to a therapist but nothing seemed to help," he said rubbing his beard as he thought back on those times.

He'd met his wife his freshmen year of college, they were friends with benefits for a while before becoming official and dating. They were together for 8 years and married for 6 before they divorced. He never imagined he'd be divorced before 30 but that was life and if not for that he would've never met Crystal.