inferno // l.s.

zayn's letter

the coolest little bro a guy could ask for,

i'm sorry for all the shit i've put you through. if i had known that things would turn out the way they did when i first started seeing mylo, i never would have agreed to that second date. i promise you.

i miss you, zee. i miss us. i miss when we were kids, without a care in the world yet only having the world before us. we packed our shit, took all the money we had, and moved into that apartment our parents bought us. we never looked back, either.

watching you live your life was quite fun. i had just started my job at the bar across the street from our apartment when you told me about mason needing more dancers. vegas was just our starting point and now look at us. you have niall and liam, and i have harry and emma. it's almost as if we made it, zaynie. we found our boys. our dream boys.

you always said that your dream boy was someone bright and bubbly, with a loud laugh and a wild brain. that's niall. you also said that dream boy had to be wise beyond his years, good hearted, and knew how to put up a fight. that's liam. your dream boy is two boys, you lucky duck. you hit the jackpot with your cupid.

i'm so fucking proud of you, dude. you don't understand just how happy i get seeing you be your true self — recovering from your trauma, your addiction, and starting over. you got clean for me, for us, but you also got clean for you. my fuckhead of an ex nearly killed you for crying out loud. i found you. you told me with tears in your eyes that you never want to do coke ever again so we got you into a rehab. you stayed 90 days, phased up and stayed a few more. you came back to paralyzer even when mason told you that it would be bad for you. you ran that fucking club anyways. you were top dog. just like me and inferno, you made paralyzer your stomping ground.

i love you, kid. you have seen me at my best and worst. you have saved me from some deep shit. you have also gotten me into some deep shit. we have too many memories together, too many stories to tell, and i only hope we can make more. i will never forget the night you got arrested for public intoxication. or the night you were so drunk you called my dad and talked to him about marvel movies for two hours.

i still want your fucking bong, by the way. one of these days it's gonna come up missing and when you ask me where it's at, i'll tell you the apartment ghost hid it. mark my words. count your days, malik. this is revenge for stealing my spiderman hoodie all those years ago. and STILL FUCKING WEARING IT IN FRONT OF ME! THIEVING WHORE! (a pretty thieving whore. you little shit.)

you won't ever get this letter, but just know i think of you a lot. and i hope you become the most successful, happiest version of you in your future. i wish for unlimited access to all the weed, the best naps, and amazing music. i hope you become filthy rich with a hedgehog army, and maybe a goat. or a chicken. you'd look so cute with a pet chicken following you around. name it after me please or i'll haunt you when i die!

love, forever and ever and ever and always,

lovey (: