Akin Ka Na Lang, Please? (boyxboy)

Chapter Thirteen: Eruption

Lester's Point of View

13 years old lang ako noon nung magkakilala kami ni Kevin. I can't speak any Tagalog words at all, let alone understand them. Being the literary genius that he is, kinausap niya ako ng kinausap nung first day of high school until I came out of my shell.

It was so clichéd how we became best buddies. But I guess it definitely has to do something with him being the first one to approach me even though I was a really awkward guy. And also the veil of comfort that surrounded me whenever I was with him.

We watched each other grow up. Year after year until our Senior year, we became closer. We've done so many things already to prove that our bond will last forever. Little did I know I've got feelings for him and truth be told, I did not know how to deal with it.

Fast forward to that night in 2008.. Nung hiningi ko yung ko yung blessing and efforts niya para maligawan ko yung kapatid niya. Nakita ko kung paano nangilid yung luha niya, nakita ko kung gaano kasakit para sa kanya ang lahat.

Pagkaalis na pagkaalis ko sa bahay nila sinuntok ko ng paulit-ulit-ulit yung pinakamalapit na poste. I remember I was crying hard.. He didn't know.. I didn't tell him that being with his sister was the closest I could get to being with him..

When he left for college and to study in New York Film Academy, I knew he would find someone else. He would eventually move on. But when he came back, he came back alone and it made me happy-no matter how selfish that sounds.

He sang for us in our wedding day and cried after it. Again he didn't know I asked him to do it so I can at least pretend he's the one I'm marrying.

I'm a stupid, selfish bastard.

"Kevin, I'm so sorry." I said while going after him.

"Lester, I'm more than happy for the both of you. But I wouldn't ask the same thing twice-leave me alone."

It was the second time that he asked me to leave today after I kissed him.

The kiss..it was so intimate and it felt so right. But I couldn't shake the idea off of my brain that he's with Toby now and that what I voluntarily made him feel back then for choosing his sister over him, he's involuntarily doing the same to me by being with my brother. And good God it hurts, it fucking hurts but I'm not in the right place to complain. I deserved every bit of guilt and pain.

I tried to disregard my feelings for him, believe me I tried. But every single time I came to visit him and seeing the happiness drain from his face the moment he sets his eyes on me, the tug of conscience gets me. When my brother arrived I thought my feelings would eventually subside, kasi masaya na siya finally.

But no. The more I see how sweet they are, how they seem so perfect for each other, it killed me. And today I got the chance to talk to him and confess. I thought it would go well, I thought I'd have a shot.

It doesn't hurt to try. All I could comprehend right now is that my feelings erupted, but it erupted in the wrong place, in the wrong time but with the right person and for all the right reasons.

Eh diba kahit alam na nating mali ang isang bagay ginagawa natin kasi kailangan?