My time | OP

13.

Briar's POV

It had been days but I was still thinking 'why the fuck would he say something like that? What got into him?'  We were doing so well together, I thought we were actually on our way to becoming good friends again, but no, not to him. To him, I was still just the amateur driver that deserved to lose my dream.

God, I couldn't even begin to explain how pissed I am. At the moment, I am considering quitting on the spot.

I actually brought myself to Zak's office to hand him my notice already. I could cross reliable off my future CV. I stood, my fist raised to knock when I got a message from my new favourite person.

'Hey Bri, just checking everything was alright. Didn't get chance to see you after the race! L x'

It felt weird. Oscar was the only one that ever called me Bri.

'Hey Lan :) Sorry didn't get chance to come and see you. Bit of an argument with your new nemesis!'

'He's a dick for arguing with you! Want me to talk to him?'

'No it's fine. Just deciding whether to hand in my notice.'

'No DONT. I have a suggestion. How about you meet me later on and we can talk then. I f you don't like the suggestion after that then feel free to give Zak your notice but I love having you around too much to let you leave just yet :))'

My little interaction with Lando steered me away from my boss' door but only just. My God I was just so livid with him, and then I have to deal with him for all of the plane journey as well. I was going to commit a murder. I quickly booked our hotel rooms, I'm never usually this last minute but if I'm being honest, I couldn't care less if he ended up sleeping in the backseat of his ridiculously expensive car this weekend.

Instead of starting an argument, I made myself useful and started angrily packing my things into the carry on suitcase McLaren had provided for me when I started my work with them. Then I realised that eventually I would have to send Oscar his details. Fuck, I would have to get on the flight with him. Instead, I tried to be civil but with a hint of passive aggressiveness. 

'So prick, even though you don't think I'm capable enough to be back, I've booked our flight and hotel. Either be at the airport at 7 or don't bother turning up to the next race :)' Did that sound a bit too passive aggressive? Maybe.

'Briar, we need to talk. You know full well that's not what I meant.'

'Just make sure you're at the airport Oscar, that's literally all you have to do.'

I received no response from there. 

I hopped into a taxi and made my way to the airport terminal and waited for the bane of my existence to arrive. I was trying to make myself a little charm or keyring chain so I could remember this time, and I wasn't about to let Oscar ruin that, so I took myself to the gift shop and blew what I had left of the Saudi currency that was in my purse. A short while after, I could hear the click of cameras and the bustle of people trying to get autographs and could only assume that was my favourite person ever (hint my sarcasm). 

The minute I saw the strands of his brown hair from over the top of the crowd, I started making my way to the gate. I wanted to avoid as much human contact with him as possible. At least until I had managed to calm myself down about his statement about my racing skills.

However, I wasn't so lucky. The minute that mine and Oscar's eyes met his expression changed. He had gone from the fun, boisterous ball of laughter that he was with the fans to a heap of shit that looked like he was about to burst out into tears at any given moment. As much as I could see sincerity in his eyes, I wasn't going to give in just yet. He had hurt me, and I mean really hurt me. We had got so much closer and I really thought that we were going to get to a place of friendship, even get back to how close Oscar, Robert and I were when we back in F2. But, he had said it, he had mocked my mistake once more and now all I could hear were his words saying I wasn't good enough and quite frankly, I really didn't feel good enough right now. I feel like I should just leave here and now and go back to my little appointment with Valeria.

"Briar, can we talk?" He said softly as he reached me.

"No Oscar, we can't."

"But Bri please..."

"Don't call me that Oscar." I spoke firmly, snapping at him.

I didn't want the excuses or the explaining right now, I just wanted to be by myself to my own thoughts. I couldn't help but pity the sorrow in his eyes but I just needed some time. All I wanted at the moment was to be able to make it through this weekend intact.

When we had boarded the plane, I decided to take myself and my anxiety to a different seat and swapped with another member of the PR team, instead choosing to sit nearer to Lando than Oscar. Although the level of comfort I received was nowhere near as adequate than what I had gotten from Oscar, I sufficiently managed to get myself into the sky breakdown free. The flight was long, topping out at just over 14 hours but I kept myself busy, using the plane's complimentary wifi to catch up on my emails, meal plans, training schedules and of course the most important, my messages to the groupchat with me, V and Robert. They did always know how to make me feel at home, even when I feel so unbelievably out of place.

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Oscar's POV

When I stepped off the plane into the humid Australia air, the only thing that I could do was look around for Briar. I was tanged with guilt and regret towards my comment that I had spoken to Briar. I hadn't meant it in the way she had taken it. Or had I? I was unhappy with how the results had come out, she just happened to be the target of my abuse and I was so wrong for that. She hadn't done anything wrong, in fact, she was the one that made me want to try harder. She didn't just make me want to try harder in racing either, she made me want to be a better person and there is no other person in this world that I would rather change myself for. 

I caught a glimpse of her walking along with Lando and some other members of our PR team. I had missed her on that flight, I had missed holding her hand and trying my best to make her feel as safe as I could possibly make her. I had made a terrible decision and I wish more than anything that I could take it back. It was at this point, the pang of jealousy of seeing Briar with Lando hit me.

That should be me with her, not Lando. he had absolutely no clue how to treat her right. But it was inevitable. With that one comment, I had ruined any chance of a keeping the friendship that I had with Bri. I always loved to call her Bri, it always felt so much more personal, like there was something between me and her that she didn't have with anyone else. 

I could see her laughing away with my teammate. They would bond over their experiences in F2 and what they had in similar. There was absolutely no doubt that they were bonding over the similarity of having me as their awful teammate at one time or another. I didn't want to have to see her like this with any other guy that wasn't me. I wanted to treat her well, but instead I had royally fucked everything up. Stepping foot on the tarmac of the car park, I was almost immediately flooded by fans. This was my home race after all, and my first one since making into F1. I should be happy and greeting my fans with the excitement of one of these children in a McLaren hat, but instead I chose to put on a smile and walk through feeling like total and utter shit.

I felt like I had let these fans down, let my country down and let myself down for behaving in such a manner as how I did to Briar. To these young children, I should be a role model, but instead I feel like nothing more than a hypocrite and a failure. Seeing the joy and excitement in the eyes of these fans made the guilt I was already feeling dig a little deeper into the crevice of what was surely a dark heart. I tried to enjoy the event as much as I could, I would never get to experience anything like this ever again, but instead, I could only be faced with the immeasurable amount of guilt and self torture that I very well deserved.

I wanted to be better for Briar, show her that she's the reason that I want to change, but how can I do that when she won't talk to me and all I can see is the lust in her eyes for the wrong driver? That girl is precious and she should be treated as such and if I can't succeed in showing her that she deserves the world then I should quit racing while I'm ahead. All I want to do is show her that I want to change and that I can only do it with her by my side.

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A/N Hi everyone, I'm back from the dead! Hopefully I can post some more content for you now that I'm a bit more relaxed. Hope you have all enjoyed your summer time wherever you are and I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. It is a little bit rushed because I didn't want to leave you in the dark for any longer. But besides, enjoy the chapter and ignore my spelling xxx