beautiful ♡ muke (boyxboy)

chapter three

okay so this chapter is all about luke and his past and stuff it's quite sad, to me it is anyways.

i hope this is good so far because i think it's pretty shitty lmao

anywhore, please enjoy and feel free to comment! (:

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luke

today was thankfully my off day and i had the whole day to myself. after calum left, i headed to my bedroom and sighed contently.

i always enjoy being alone at times, it's peaceful and gives me times to think about the things i've never gave a second thought about.

i didn't expect any company today so i went to my secret closet and pulled out my favorite over-sized pink sweatshirt with my pink underwear with a bow in the middle.

i felt relieved as soon as i pulled on the underwear. but it also brung back the thought of why i started liking girl clothes in the first place.

-flashback-

"come on luke, it's just a dare." dylan told luke from across the room.

"b-but that's weird, a-and i don't feel comfortable with wearing those.." luke tried to get him to change his mind but he was so set on making the 15 year old happy.

"come on, be a pretty princess. don't you want to make me happy?" dylan smirked at the oblivious 11 year old.

luke nodded with no hesitation and slowly took the lacy pink panties and the dress from dylan.

"don't be scared lukey, it's just clothes. you'll be so pretty, so beautiful."

luke nodded, pulling off all of his clothes and putting on the girl clothes. he didn't want this, he just wanted to be normal.

"god lukey, you look so pretty."

luke felt pretty

luke felt good

luke felt beautiful

-end of flashback-

if i wasn't such an oblivious 11 year old, i wouldn't be like this. nearly all 11 year old are oblivious but i wish i wasn't. being this way has caused me more stress than you would imagine.

i use to go into my mom's make-up bag and turn myself into a pretty princess. i took all the high heels from my mom's closet and walked around in them when no one was home.

i didn't ask to be this way and since i am, i'm terrified to tell calum and ashton. i know they'd support me through anything but i can't help but to think of all the negatives.

i looked in the mirror and smiled.

i looked so pretty

i felt so pretty

but i'm not suppose to be this way. why can't i be a straight guy? grow up with a beautiful wife in a big house with tiny children running around the house making messes. i wanted that. i wanted that so bad, but i wouldn't be happy. because that's not me.

why couldn't i like all the guy stuff? like football and wrestling and all that good stuff but no i like wearing panties and being called pretty.

i silently sobbed in front of the mirror and cradled myself.

i wanted to go into my closet and throw away all my girl clothes, the girl shoes, the make-up. i wouldn't have the heart to though, i like it. i fucking love it. the amount of times i've gone to a typical girl store and bought clothes from there, telling the cashier "it's for my girlfriend" i couldn't just give it up.

i won't give it up.

i haven't told anyone, not even my mom about it and maybe that's what i need to do.

tell someone

the thought alone scared me so much but in order to be accepted and to accept myself, i need to tell someone.

would they think it's just a phase? that im pulling a prank on them? i don't know but one thing i do know is; it's going to cause some problems.

and that terrifies me.

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ffs this sucked ass kms

sorry this is short but ill post longer chapters I promise.

feedback would be great (: