beautiful ♡ muke (boyxboy)

chapter four

school is out finally ffs i'm gonna be a junior can you hear my sobs

anyways i hope this doesn't suck like the others but enjoy loves

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luke

i was not fine at all

no, i had no idea how to come out to calum and ashton. surely it couldn't be that bad i mean they know all my other secrets, they know i'm gay so it shouldn't be that surprising, right?

right?

who the fuck am i kidding, they're going to flip tits. how am i suppose to come out? do i just straight up tell them and hope for the best? do i show them my secret closet? do i wear the clothes, show them and talk to them about it?

i have no fucking clue

i sighed, nearly crying as i thought of how i'm gonna do this. maybe if i make them listen and not speak and show them as well then it could work? yeah, that's what i'm going to do.

i picked up the phone and called calum with shaky hands. i knew ashton was with calum so i just settled with calling one of them and having them both come over.

"mm, hello?" calum answered with a husky voice. he must have been napping but i didn't care.

i nervously took in a deep breath and coughed slightly, "u-um hey cal, i have something important to tell you and ashton. can you guys come over?"

"yeah lukey, we'll be there soon." and with that i hung up.

i put my head in my hands and sighed deeply. how hard could this be? the worst they could do is laugh in my face and leave but i know they'd eventually come back but it would still hurt. i just want to be accepted.

i want to be able to wear my other clothes and not have anyone judge me. i want to be able to be me, wearing guy clothes isn't me. it's who i'm suppose to be but everyone is different.

and different is okay

i'm a nervous wreck as i heard the front door open. my eyes widen and my breath quickened.

i can't do this i can't do this they're going to hate me

i ran to my room and shut the door. I panicked as i heard my name being called and the sound of footsteps were becoming so loud and closer to my room.

i quickly ran to my window and climbed out, not caring if i hurt myself but i just needed to get out of there.

i climbed down the tree, stumbling a bit before landing perfectly on my foot and made a run for it. i ran as fast as i could and didn't bother to check if calum or ashton saw me climb down the tree and came after me.

i'm such a big wimp, no wonder dylan used me.

i was running and wasn't thinking much of where i was going but as soon as my body crashed into another, i came back to reality.

"shit dude, are you- wait pretty eyes?" i could recognize the soft but husky voice from anywhere.

"u-uh yeah, um, hi?" i awkwardly stared at the ground, knowing if i looked at the gorgeous boy then he would see my red face.

"what are you doing? why were you running? did someone hurt you? i swea-" i placed my finger to mouth and shushed him.

"i'm fine, just a little shaken up." i shrugged.

"what happened? i mean you don't have to tell me but i do care." he smiled slightly and i couldn't help but to smile slightly as well.

"um well i have this really big secret that i haven't told my friends yet. i was going to tell them today but i panicked."

"will i get to know this secret of yours?" he smirked and suddenly i had this urge to tell him, just to get a reaction out of him.

"maybe one day." i winked and he groaned.

i laughed and looked over his appearance. he looked so cute, his green eyes shining bright as he stared at me. if i could look at this face all day, hell i would.

i cleared my throat, trying to not smile at the tingly feeling he gave me. "well, it was nice running into you, uh, wait what's your name?"

how could i be so attracted to him and i didn't even know his name? the hell?

"mm, you'll know it real well when it's going to be the only thing coming out your mouth as i fuck you senseless."

i gaped. the thought of him fucking me senseless was literally stuck in my head and couldn't help but want it. i haven't had sex in a while and i'm still a 19 year old boy with sexual needs that's not just my hand or fingers.

i tried not to moan as he bit his lip, waiting for me to reply but if i did reply, i might end up attacking his face with my lips. though, i did compose myself and took a deep breath.

"i'm serious, what's your name?" i whined.

"michael." he smirked.

"okay, well it was really nice running into you, but i must go. i'll, um, see you soon yeah?" i said, still slightly turned on by his words.

"yeah, pretty eyes. i'll see you 'round." he winked and walked back into a building.

i released the breath i didn't realize i was holding and shook my head. i don't know why i feel so close to him and i haven't even known him for a week.

i decided to walk home and deal with the mess i caused. i obviously wasn't ready to tell them yet and i don't know why i thought i was.

i arrived at home in ten minutes and i was greeted with a worried looking calum and a tired ashton. they both looked up at me and sighed in relief.

"what the hell man, we were worried sick! i nearly called the cops!" calum said with so much sadness and i immediately felt bad that i was the cause of it.

i hugged calum and rubbed his back softly, "i'm sorry cal-pal. i was going to tell you guys something but i-i'm not ready to say it yet."

"are you pregnant?" ashton asked with raised eyebrows. i nearly laughed but instead i just shook my head.

"ash, that's impossible."

"well, whatever it is, just wait until you're ready. you don't have to rush into anything luke." calum reassured me and i immediately relaxed.

"i love you guys." i gushed and pulled them in a group hug. after ashton told me that, it gave me so much relief to know that if i told them then they'd most likely support me.

calum kissed my forehead and patted my bum, "okay well, we feed kitty for you and i'm sure you're hungry too, so ashton brought KFC for you."

i squealed and immediately went to the kitchen to retrieve the food.

knowing that i had supportive friends made me feel so good about myself and made me less nervous about telling them. i don't know what i'd do without them.

i can tell them

i will tell them

i just need to figure out when the right time is and i had a strange feeling that they will find out but not how i expected it them to find out

and that scared me

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okay so i'm already thinking about another story and I'm really excited for it.

i won't start it until i'm half way done with this book tho.

more drama will be happening soon nsjsisksdhs

anyways i hope you all had a good day and i love you (: