never too late /style💙💚

chapter 2: too late

that night, and also the night after, kyle couldn't sleep. he kept rolling in his bed asking himself what to do. should he confess all the things he has been feeling for years, or keep them inside without risking to ruin everything?

[two days after heidi's essay, the 24th of october]

it was night, and kyle still couldn't decide what to do.

kyle: *thinking* "we are just best friends, after all. we've been for fourteen years. even if he feels the same, will we ever really date? after all the time we spent as friends, we'll both be embarrassed..
how would it be to be his boyfriend after fourteen years of friendship? that's stupid. he'll never feel like this, it's impossible. so that's dumb, he has always seen me as his best friend.
but he's the person i would be proud to call «my boyfriend». he's the person i want to spend the rest of my life with.
he's the person i would die for...
but what will happen to our lives? will we be bestfriends forever and just be fine with it? cause hiding in the closet seems the safest option.. i don't know. dammit this is all so difficult.."

[the morning after]

stan, kyle, kenny and cartman are at the bus stop.

kyle: *yawns*
stan: "what's up dude? have you slept badly? have you slept at all?"
kyle: *yawns* "yeah, quite"

[in class]

teacher: "does anyone want to read their essay today or do i have to extract a name again?"

still nobody offered to

teacher: "as expected. well, let's see... broflovski, today it's you"
kyle: *thinking* "crap"
kyle: *with an obvious satire and stressed smile on his face* "sure"
kyle: *reading his essay* "love.. love, love love; one of the biggest concepts of humanity, but also one of the hugest mysteries of the history. we all know the world «love» because we use it and hear it everyday, but does anyone actually know its true meaning? does it even have an actual real meaning or is it just how everyone of us perceives it? we're all used to the term «love» that we don't even stop and think about it, it's just something we feel, so it's an abstracted concept. meanwhile, though, it's something that lives in our hearts and our minds; so, at the same time, it is something we feel as concrete. for me, love is both of these things. while it's actually something abstracted, it's the set of everything we love that make us who we are. we may love our families, our friends and our crushes. but we may love a certain movie that another person hates. we all love different things and have different passions. loving something keeps our motivation high, but loving someone turns our lives upside down. loving someone can make you feel at your best and at your worst at the same time. loving someone catches our entire soul and binds them to another person.. and it's something we cannot escape. love makes us feel free of not being free, and we just accept that, because when we love someone all we know is that everything we'll need for the rest of our lives is that one person, our person, our love.
falling in love is something that happens in a fraction of a second, and falling out of it can even take years. it's something that has been studied since the beginning of time, with poetry and literature, and even science, but there's still none of us who has fully understood what love really is. i guess love just takes our souls and plays with them as it wants to, and, sometimes, it plays in beautiful ways. like the love story everyone of us dreams about days and nights."

[later, as soon as they got out of school]

stan: *to kyle* "your essay was really cool, dude! did you use chat gpt?"
kyle: *lying* "y-yeah.. of course!"
kyle: "uhm- stan- can i, can i tell you something in private?"
stan: "yeah, sure dude"
kyle: "well uhm- i-"
kyle: *takes a breath* "i like you!"
stan: "well, sure, we're bestfrie-"
kyle: "i mean, i like you! not just as a best friend. i wish we could be more than best friends. i've been feeling like this for a while now."
stan: *not knowing how to react* ...
kyle: ...
kyle: "i'm sorry, never mind. forget about it."