The Fallout | ✓

09 - miles away

Q U I N C E Y

"You okay sweetblum?" Mom's voice made me jump out of my skin.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered out, hands busy with taking the groceries out of their recycled bags.

"Quinn, do you wanna talk about what's bothering you hon?" Mom knew exactly what was bothering me. She always knew but she wanted me to spell every word so they won't weigh down on me as much.

I gulped, hands moist with sweat, "Not really but I have to at some point so I might as well," I shrugged a shoulder like it was all nice and dandy, letting go of the groceries and turning to lean my back against the counter so I could be face to face with Mom. "I don't know Ma, I had to drive him to his sister's house two days ago. He was really out of it and I was just so... shocked to see him and all that pent-up anger and resentment I had harvested for him just burst out of my mouth," I closed my eyes and dragged my hands down my face before continuing, "I was so mean to him when I had no right to be— he had made his decision years ago and I should be understanding of it and accept it not be a freaking asshole about it..." I heave out a breath, feeling my heart squeeze in agony with every word I confess, "And now he's here and I'm certain that he doesn't remember what happened that night but it still sucks, and I still feel bad about the way I treated him."

The amount of time I spent improving myself after Maddox left was rough, a road full of bumps I had to drive over and hope my tires weren't going to be punctured before I made it out. I'd gone and hid in my shell, abandoned the noise of the world around me. I've sacrificed my own scholarship—my only way of thriving in this harsh world— by letting my emotions win over my mental being. And now I'm left to be nothing but a failure. All the work and time I've put into myself to be a better version was just swallowed away by a single glance at the boy who tainted my heart. It was like the day Maddox decided I was no longer enough I kept my cry in and held myself from letting it out but I could still hear it, ringing in my ears every night and reminding me how naive I was to put my heart into the hands of another person and allow them the chance to crush it and toy with it.

Until I finally let it free.

"You can't beat yourself over what happened. Sometimes our emotions drive us to say some things we regret later on but that doesn't make them any less significant. We're humans, not angels Quincey— we're bound to make mistakes over and over again, it's all a part of our lives," Mom takes hold of my hands in hers, and when she reaches to wipe the hot tear that slid down my face I realize I started crying.

With my lips between my teeth, I sniffed and nodded at Mom's words. "I always knew you should be a therapist," I said out loud before hiccuping.

"Oh right because I totally should attempt fixing people's problems and ignore mine," Mom laughed and slapped my arm playfully before turning to the spread-out groceries on the counter. "Please drink some water hon," She instructed when I hiccup again.

I wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my hoodie before going over to fill a glass with water and down it on the way to pick up my ringing phone from the coffee table.

"It's Knoxy," My brother never calls. It's always one of us who has to call first for him to pick up the damn phone.

"Bring him here!" Mom called.

I walked into the kitchen and accepted the call before leaning my phone against the wall behind the counter so both Mom and I could see while we organize the groceries.

"Knox!" Mom yelled at the phone like it was miles away from her.

The door slammed shut and when I looked over my shoulder, Dad was walking in with Bear right behind him.

His eyes met mine and he smiled at me wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me in for a side hug.

When Knox's face finally appeared on the screen Mom gasped dramatically, "My boy has finally grown a beard. Oh, I'm so so proud Knoxy!"

I chuckled and my dad laughed. Knox rolled his eyes, "Way to greet your favorite child ma. I think I'm going to hang up now."

Mom frowned at him and I flipped him the finger at the side so my parents won't see, "Very funny," Mom said sarcastically.

We watched as Bear stood on his back legs and set his front ones on the counter at the sound of my brother's voice.

"Nevermind, hellooo Big B," Knox dragged out when Bear appeared with us on the screen.

Bear barked, hanging his tongue out, his tail wagging from side to side in excitement and I couldn't help but grin.

Maybe not everything was going my way but I'll take it any day if these moments are all I get.

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a cheesy ending and not the best chapter but oh well, it is what it is

Thank you sm for reading, I appreciate you

lots of love and confetti,
—faith

August 20, 2023
SUN - 2:45 PM