The Fallout | ✓

12 - dried tears

Q U I N C E Y

"What happened?" I find myself brooding again.

It's like I can't control what comes out of my mouth every time I spare a glance at Maddox.

I put the cup aside before walking forward, leaving a safe distance between us as I move my gaze away from him and to the broken glass that's spread over the hardwood floor of the kitchen. My eyes go back to Maddox on their own accord and I do a quick examination of his body attempting to locate any damage and trying to ignore the way my heart flips every time my brain reminds me of just how good the man in front of me looks. Not that I need a reminder, my eyes are doing their job just fine.

"You should move before you hurt yourself."

"Were you crying?" His voice is thick with more emotions than I've seen him betray ever since he came back.

"What?" I wipe at my cheeks as my brows draw together. I thought I had looked just fine in my phone reflection. My throat burns as a humorless laugh bubbles out of my mouth before I can stop it, "What are you talking about?"

"Did something happen? Who was that on the phone? Did they say some nasty shit to you?"

I recoil back at the protectiveness in his tone. His eyes are locked in mine and a strain of fierce emotions explodes out of him. I swallow back my nerves and look away as I try to suppress the tears that are on the verge of coming out. This is not good. I don't want Maddox to get involved in my life more than he already is. I'm already treading on dangerous grounds with him and if I keep feeding him information about my personal life and problems he's easily going to find his place back inside my life. That's not what I worked years to overcome. I've built a better version of myself for a reason. I don't need a man to take control of my heart and stomp on it like it's a stepping stone.

"I'm fine," I say finally as I look away. "I think I need to leave. You should probably clean this up before someone gets hurt."

I don't tell him that I'm uneasy that he's going to hurt himself and I don't look back at him with every step I take away towards the front door.

"Are you going to leave me for him?"

I halt my movement and look over my shoulder at the man who had destroyed me in the past.

My fingers form fists at my sides, "You've left me before it's only fair I do the same," Every word that leaves my mouth grates on my heart because I'm not used to hurting people— especially the ones I care most about and I don't like the after feeling it brings but if I have to convey to myself how far I've gotten to protect myself from further damage then so be it.

Maddox doesn't utter a word after that and I take it as my chance to escape before I start spewing apologies and falling into my old patterns of being vulnerable and naïve.

I take the key out of my pocket and with the lump stuck in my throat I barely manage to turn the car on and drive away, letting the tears free and my walls tumble to the ground as I sit into the darkness of my loneliness.

Having the man who crushed my heart still own it is the worst torture I have to endure.

* * *

The next morning I get to work with my lips pursed and a headache the size of Spain.

After I lost my scholarship and the only thread tying me to my hopes and dreams of becoming an interior designer I had to look for a job and quickly support myself because Mom and Dad weren't going to be holding onto my hand forever. Dad's income could barely support him and Mom and they've already spent a lot of money paying for Knox's hockey equipment and training to help support him and the expensive path he was distanced to cross.

It's not that they've left me to rote on my own but I've always felt entitled to help carry myself so my parents wouldn't have to stress too much over me, especially with the budget they had.

And even if working at a pizzeria wasn't the worst thing I had to tolerate, it had never been my first choice of career hence why I never really enjoyed it.

I tie my apron around my waist and cover my hair with the red cap that has the simple logo of the pizzeria— a melted cheese pizza with two pepperonis acting as eyes and a sliced green pepper imitating the smile.

And with a sigh, I walk in, greeting my coworkers and getting straight into another boring day of work.

But what I don't expect at the end of it this time, is finding Maddox sitting on those same steps again once my shift is over.

.
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The urge to go back and rewrite everything and make it so polished is killing me. Istg being a protectionist is my part-time job and I hate it.

This is wattpad for the love of God not a published book and it doesn't have to be anywhere near perfect, I seriously need to have that tattoed somewhere

On a side note though, I did start rewriting this on google docs bc I just can't stop myself but I am prioritizing this over it so dw

Thanks for reading and I hope to see you in the next one

lots of love and confetti,
—faith

August 30, 2023
WED - 9:20 PM