The Fallout | ✓

25 - ready or not

M A D D O X

"Is that all you want me for?" Her voice was weak, a butterfly floating in the air.

I backed a step away, her question a slap to my face. "Do you really think I just want you for sex Q? Not to be an ass but if that was all I wanted you for, I would've already had my way with you by now." I was infuriated she would assume something so low of me.

"But you didn't, because you left."

The look in her eyes told me how hurt she was about that subject but the fact she thought that way didn't do anything to ease the anger building in me.

"You don't know half of it. And I'm not having this argument with you when it's clearly escalating toward hell."

It wasn't that I didn't want to tell her about what happened, to correct her about why she thought I left her of all people — it was about me being ready to spill out all my sins and being ready to lose her altogether.

"You can't just leave! Knox is still out there," She huffed and beat me to the door, blocking it by standing in front when both of us knew I could move her out of the way with a touch of my finger.

"I heard the door shut," I deadpanned. "And I'm not leaving you, just going for a smoke to calm things between us before one of us does something we'll regret later. I might go to the old house to do some work too."

I closed the distance between us and locked my lips with hers for a second that felt too short before moving her away and opening the door to leave.

I felt her eyes on my back and my heart felt the words she wanted to say but wouldn't.

*   *   *

I removed the last piece of carpet from the ground and tossed it aside before leaning my back against the wall and staring at the ripped carpet and the mess I'd made since I came here.

I wasn't entirely sure where I was going with this renovation, all I had in mind was keeping the memories my family and I had built over the years while still being able to add new memories to it.... With my own family if feasible.

But all of that would have to wait until I got back on my feet and worked my ass off to provide for myself first.

A message from Quinn popped up on my phone, Going to dinner with the fam, the key is stuck under the blue potted plant.

I shut it off after sending thumps up and threw the back of cigs in the black trash bag filled with the old carpet before walking to my sister's house.

* * *

"So how's it going?" Hazel asked as she stretched her legs on the ottoman waiting to be used in front of the couch.

Her belly was the size of a watermelon, maybe even one and a half and I had no clue how women could carry that weight around for nine whole months without snapping their backs.

"How's what going?"

Her lips thinned as she gave me the look, "You, Quinn, obviously."

I sunk my back into the couch and avoided her gaze as my eyes moved from hers to focus on the muted TV, "Nothing is going on, naturally."

"What do you mean nothing is going on?! You can't just hang on to her and make her wait longer Max. This isn't fair for her," My sister snarled like I had just stolen her baby.

I locked eyes with her, anger bubbling inside of me, "You think I don't know that? Do you think it's so easy to just tell her so she could go running away from me when I just had her?"

She threw a cushion at me, "You're so freaking stupid do you know that? If she was going to run away from you she would've done it a long time ago when you weren't there for her. And I get that it's hard to tell her the truth, but I bet you didn't even try!"

"Fuck this, I'm going out," I chucked the cushion on the floor and reached for my pocket cursing when I realized I'd finished smoking the whole box earlier.

"Yeah, just go on with your life and continue being a pussy!"

I shut the door and welcomed the cold wind that didn't do anything to ease my nerves.

I was officially mad at the world and I was fucking pissed at everything I'd had to go through because of a mistake I wasn't even able to stop or control.

And a part of me, a small part in me, wished that I never got to make it out of that cell to face all of those consequences, maybe then and there I'd be happier, ignoring my problems and waiting for them to fix themselves while all I did was tolerate the prisoners around me and counted down days for freedom so suffocating.

Q U I N C E Y

I hugged my parents and wished them goodnight before driving home and passing by the old house on the way.

I stopped the car in front of it and contemplated going into the darkness that lived there, to see if Maddox might be hiding within it but alas, I pressed the pedal and continued the drive my mind filled with thoughts and countless questions.

Specifically, if Maddox and I were ever going to work after the rift that put itself between us from years of being apart. Maybe we weren't meant to be, maybe he and I were destined to continue life with other partners and even if that thought was too hard to process and admit, it was always a possibility.

One that was hard to swallow.

My fingers clenched around the steering wheel. I had absolutely nothing stable in my life— no job I liked and a relationship so inclined to fail.

But all I had was my family behind me and maybe that should be enough, but I can't depend on that to stay forever too whether I like it or not.

*   *   *

I was beyond tired the second I made it back into the complex. I wanted to check the spare key under the potted plant but I wasn't sure I was ready for the disappointment of him not being here so instead, I opened the door and was greeted by the darkness that involved me over the years.

My heart thudded in my chest, loneliness seeping like poison through my vines and I hated how dependent I became on someon, on the same man I told myself I wouldn't get used to, but I couldn't stop it.

I kicked my shoes off and threw my bag across the counter, all I wanted to do was throw myself in bed and ignore every problem the world wanted to throw at me.

But when I made it to my room, the air was colder, a body wrapped under my blankets and the man I so dearly love despite everything lying on my bed.

"Come here Q," Maddox's eyes were barely open as he uttered those words and without saying a thing, I ate the distance between us and threw myself at him, hugging the living life out of him and allowing myself to cry in his arms.

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tyty for reading u make me happy

6:37 PM
SAT 11NOV