The Fallout | ✓

35 - orbs of ice

M A D D O X

The old traditional door opened to a young blonde woman with bright features such as her eyebrows that blended in with her skin.

"Can I help you?" Her light blue eyes squinted at me.

I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my jeans unable to fully meet her eyes, "Yes actually. Are any of your parents here?"

Confusion struck on her face though she nodded slowly, "Um yes, why—"

A wide shadow appeared behind her before his face appeared behind her. He clamped a hand over her shoulder making his daughter flinch before relaxing, "Папа, ты меня напугал!"
(Dad, you scared me!)

Boris squeezed his daughter's shoulder in a comforting gesture before he took a step forward to stand before her, "Go inside Anya, I'll take this."

His daughter's mouth opened before she clasped her lips shut, muttering something in Russian, "хорошо," before turning to leave and fade with their unlit hallway.
(Okay.)

"Why are you here?" Boris's eyes were two huge cold orbs of ice.

My head fell between my shoulders, "I came here to apologize Sir. For w—"

"I know what you did мальчик, you don't have to remind me that I lost my fucking child to some stupid reckless teenagers who had no care in this world other than their entertainment."
(boy.)

My fingers clenched at my sides, and I felt the trail of sweat trickling down my back.

I was so tired, so fucking done of living in the past where darkness was in every path I took. I know what I did and just how much I regretted it. I had to live with it and think about it for six years while I was stuck in the awful cell and it'll probably hunt me to the day I die.

All I wanted when I got of there was to start reconstructing my life and most importantly myself. I wanted to check out the boxes of the dreams I had then and wanted to create new ones with the woman I love more than anything in this world. I didn't want to be held for a reckless homicide that wasn't even my fault through the rest of my life.

If forgiveness isn't granted for me who had just been there and did nothing but watch the color fade from that kid then just how much resentment do they hold for Winston who's hands were colored in that innocent kid's blood?

My vision focused on Boris as I lifted my head. He was a stout man with shoulders wider than the door frame and a bald head the sun reflected its rays against, "I know how hard this is for you and your family, but I can't live knowing I didn't try to apologize for taking a part in what happened to your son. I never meant any harm back then and I don't now either. I was a fatuous kid then and I could very well see how it would've easily been me driving in that car instead of him..." The words that left my mouth were as shaky as a leaf in a windy night, and although the sun was up today, I felt so cold, so fucking empty in the inside.

"How did you get our address?"

My eyes squinted at him, "It really doesn't matter Boris."

"You kidding? You think I'll let you hurt another member of my family?"

I felt it, I felt the way my fingers went numb and my body hollow as the words left his mouth like knives that stabbed me in the worst of places, "I came here to apologize. I could've easily ignored confronting you but I guess I need this as much as you do. You're living in fear as much if not more than I am and if we both ignore the past and don't look past it or learn to forgive, we'll continue being our miserable selves. I'm not here to harm you, I'm here to make peace and apologize for my involvement. I've done my sentencing and whether you believe it's enough or not, I'm out already and I'm ready to start building my life and I don't want to be surrounded by guilt everywhere I—"

A muffled cry caused us both to look away from our tense conversation. Boris's wife, Alaska, came into view as her sniffling grew louder. When the sun struck her face, I noticed her blue eyes drowned in tears and her face flushed.

Boris wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to his chest, the action to my eyes so unlike him. After she caught her breath, Alaska pulled away and stared at me for the first time since the trial six years ago, "Please come in—"

"Alaska," His tone alone could solidify mountains.

"No Boris," Her attention moved to him, "He's right, we need to do this and I'm not going to let you stop me. I want him to apologize to me, you, and our daughter, even if my child didn't die at his hands. I need this for my own good and peace of mind."

He nodded at his wife, lacing his fingers with hers and giving her a reassuring squeeze before reluctantly allowing me inside.

.
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I honestly had so much to write relating to this situation in Maddox's pov but I get that it'll be boring for some people to go through all of that so I'll just leave it at that for now and maybe if I ever edit this book I'll try to include it in a better way.

Thanks for reading

Sincerely,
—faith

11:30am SAT
Dec 2nd, 2023